Hello Darkness My Old Friend….

Well Heres a life update.    When I was on the trip  St.Patricks Day weekend.  The guy I was seeing dumped me. I had a feeling it wasn’t gonna last long but I still had hope.  I could of done without all the its not you its me bullshit…. I r ember laying in my bed bawling my eyes out in the hotel room bed next thing I r ember a few hours later I was on top of the balcony  railing ready to jump 3 stories down to my death….   Luckily I came to my senses just in time when the railing started to cave in and i jumped on to the porch.  I guess I was just fed up from failure which I have dealt a lot with in the past few months….    I was surprised no one heard me crying or heard the railing start to cave in.  hmm maybe i could of landed in the pond close by so i could of never been found….

My anxiety has been up lately. crying for no reason my appetite has pretty much gone to shit as well….  skipping meals or puking them up…    I feel like I am never good enough for anyone or anything anymore….  Maybe the appetite loss is a sign from god to lose some weight off my ugly worthless ass….

Hopefully I can survive the next two and a half months. rock my upcoming projects and finals and go home and enjoy my summer….    I also cant wait for the anime convention I am going to with a friend in a few weeks. :3