Once more unto the breach

I went through this time and time again for so many years I lost count. I didn’t believe that there was a living, breathing soul who cared, but I found out that there are people who care.
I really did lose count of the attempts I made to end my life and one day I realized that I’ve never been closer to dying from old age than ever. Every day you’re a little closer to old age and believe me that there will come a point when it will all seem to be worth waking up to face another day.
I lost everything I owned several times, but I started over each time.
One day quite by accident I meet the love of my life, someone who understands my deep depression and how hard it can be to face another day. She’s not beautiful, overweight and quite stubborn, but she’s a perfect fit for me.
That happened when I was already well over 50 so I went through all those years of horrible times and now they feel like they barely happened even though I know they did.
I still hit the tough times and still have days when I want to end it all, but they’re far and fewer between as compared to before.
The one thing that I’m accutely aware of is that not every day will be as bad as others and not all will be as good. I have learned to ride them out because I now know there is going to be a better day somewhere along the way. It may not come exactly where I want them to happen, but they will happen.
Your good days will happen to.