Saturday, March 1st, 2025:
*LA Woman (The Doors) playing loudly in the background* I sit there staring at the picture of all the famous cinema italian gangsters my brother gifted me 8 christmas’s ago. I finish my beer as I wait for the acid to kick in. Time to drift away; I dont want to be home.
Sunday, March 2nd, 2025:
*Little Wing (Jimi Hendrix) playing loudly on repeat*
I hold the needle of the drug I have always feared. The drug I swore never to take. I prep the heroin in hopes I get it right. Live or die – I don’t care. I atleast wanted to numb myself after all the drinking I have been doing. This is what heroin feels like…
Monday, March 2nd, 2025:
*Miss Me (Kurt Cobain) plays in the background* I look at all the old pictures I have kept over the years. Remenisce over the good memories and remember the people that helped me to stay postive, at the very least. I finish my joint and crack open another beer. Why the fuck did I move out on my own.
Tuesday, March 4th, 2025:
*November Rain (Guns n Roses) has been on repeat all morning* I finish writing my last suicide letter. I neatly stack my letters addressed to each of my loved ones on the center of my desk. All that sits on my desk is the letters, an empty bottle of whiskey, and my first rifle I bought myself when I turned 20. This is finally it, my birthday; feels so poetic. I finally reached 27 and I am ready to go. I have been ready to go. I smoke my last and final joint. There is no such thing as failure now. Goodbye, beautiful world…
…Bang
1 comment
You need to create a meaning for your life, otherwise it is not going anywhere good, Richard. Yeah, sure, life indeed is meaningless but you can try to give it a meaning so you feel less pathetic. It doesn’t have to be your future.
Helping others gives a lot of power. Try it. And that girl, cut her off. You’ll not be free without giving yourself a chance for a fresh start.
Hugs.