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The fuck

by Hazy Day Sunflower

What the fuck does he care right? Just cruising in his POS life and fucking with my entire existence.

What the fuck does anyone care right? I woke up this morning and there was this empty bit that started to grow and I am so furious. Just red with anger and frustration. I want to swing a bat at him. Set him on fire.

But I won’t. I have the balloon string in my hand and have found a tree to tie it off on. Fuck me. Fuck my life. This one dimensional existence I bumble through.

Here is the soundtrack to my brain tonight.

But who the hell cares right? In my head I’m painting beauty, writing some new thought and I look around me in this hellhole I’m living in and it’s just me. Fucking loneliness and fright. I’d throw up if I had anything left in me but I don’t. Empty damn relationships. Paper. Wet paper and just a shitshow that won’t stop. I sat and thought wouldn’t it be nice to park myself in another’s soul. No point though because it is impossible.

15 comments
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15 comments

SeeSmith 3/16/2017 - 9:31 pm

In Arkansas inna mediocre motel. Sending hugs south. Catch them?

Your existence has made my life better. You have taken away some of my pain. You have delighted me with your art. You have made me think.

Thank you.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/16/2017 - 9:34 pm

Today is empty just fucking empty.

What the hell are you doing an a motel in Arkansas?

SeeSmith 3/16/2017 - 9:44 pm

A: SeeSmith 2017 Wanderjahr

Louisville KY
Findlay OH
Toledo OH
Kelleys Island OH
Chicago IL
^ I was at these places ^

Fayetteville AR <- I am here.

I will be at:
Memphis TN
Nashville TN
Dublin Ireland
…not really sure…
Dublin Ireland
Nashville TN
That's as far as I have planned.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/16/2017 - 9:45 pm

Nice. I just want to pitch my tent on Mustang Island and call it a life.

Morris 3/16/2017 - 10:10 pm

I’m not sure if trees on Mustang Island were designed for anchoring balloon strings.
I’d save the balloons and the strings for a parade.

mysteriousvisitor 3/16/2017 - 11:43 pm

Kelleys Island – nice
Toledo – I’m sorry

SeeSmith 3/16/2017 - 11:58 pm

The glass pavilion of the Toledo Museum of Art was wonderful. I have a bumper sticker from there I need to put on my car.

mysteriousvisitor 3/16/2017 - 11:45 pm

Hazy, have you been out to the island lately (it’s your favorite camping spot, isn’t it)?

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/17/2017 - 12:34 pm

@mysterious

Nope but I plan on getting out there as soon as the weather is warm. My fml medical conditions make it near impossible to do anything when it’s cold but I’m still making myself walk everyday even though it’s cold.

Mf 3/16/2017 - 10:19 pm

I can only +1 the empty damn relationships comment. Something i wonder if some people are just cursed when it comes to those, because no matter what they do they don’t seem to catch a break (i’d include myself there but i’m done with all of that anyways). I do hope you at least find some relief at some point, i mean, things have to improve someday, right?

And heck, SeeSmith’s Wanderjahr sounds like the best idea i’ve heard in ages. Might do that when i leave this place (hopefully next year or sooner).

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/17/2017 - 12:34 pm

<3

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/17/2017 - 12:36 pm

Um just a shitty enabler is all. I wish to fuck I had someone half as on top of shit as I am so I could take a damn day off.

SeeSmith 3/17/2017 - 12:47 pm

You do the best can when you can. I love you.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/17/2017 - 2:08 pm

My best currently is ripe. Just ripe and bruised.

xoxosiamese-catxoxo 3/20/2017 - 2:13 am

lmao let that boy masturbate to megan fox titti and nikki monaj pompom. he aint goin further than that.

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