Is it the crushing loneliness? The constant self-doubt? The constant self-criticism? The lack/loss of hope? The inertia? The inability to achieve goals (or even have any goals). The realization that things will never get better?
Sure, everyone’s depression is a mix of things. But what do you think is the worst part of being chronically depressed for you? Just wondering what is the hardest part for other people.
11 comments
Worst aspects are the loneliness isolation and recurring self criticism. It gets harder as I get older
Nothing being enough to keep me here. Too empty and exhausted.
Having absolutely no motivation while watching time pass slowly by
Depression is a tease.
Every time you think you’re out of the woods, an arm comes out of the undergrowth and drags you back in.
It seems more like happiness is the tease. It comes very briefly and then the depression swoops in and consumes you entirely. It keeps you in its grips for long amounts of time and you don’t know when any happiness will come again.
The worst part of depression? Just knowing I’m cursed to live a life I don’t want to live. Knowing I have to struggle more than “normal” people. Knowing I have to suffer while people around me laugh and are able to make something of their lives. Knowing fucking summer is coming and I hate hot weather and humans will be out noisy and having a good time. Also, my birthday will be a glaring reminder I am pathetic. Knowing I am miserable and alone is ALWAYS thrown in my face because there are constant reminders.
Knowing I cannot have a relationship because it takes too much energy on my part and a guy doesn’t want a girl with all the damn problems I have…Maybe to fuck a few times. My mood is not consistent. No one wants to put up with someone who is more sad than in a good mood. Guys are drawn in when I’m in a good mood, but that sadness hits and I can’t be bothered.
At least 2 weeks out of every month I am in a shitty mood due to PMDD, a suicidal form of PMS. Even on days I’m not on my period, it’s not guaranteed I always feel good. Why am I still here again? I fucking hate life. There are senior citizens in my house who talk and carry on and actually want to be alive. I am nowhere near that age and I already just want it to be over and done. I have no desire to make it to old age. Or even next year. Life isn’t working out.
“The worst part of depression? Just knowing I’m cursed to live a life I don’t want to live. Knowing I have to struggle more than “normal” people. Knowing I have to suffer while people around me laugh and are able to make something of their lives. Knowing fucking summer is coming and I hate hot weather and humans will be out noisy and having a good time. Also, my birthday will be a glaring reminder I am pathetic. Knowing I am miserable and alone is ALWAYS thrown in my face because there are constant reminders.”
–>Yes. THAT.
I’m sorry you can relate, but this site is nice because people like us don’t feel alone. I couldn’t choose just one thing that’s the hardest part of depression, it’s everything. Thanks for helping me let all that out. haha
Also, I love this line “Knowing fucking summer is coming and I hate hot weather and humans will be out noisy and having a good time.”
->I fucking hate summer too, for exactly those 3 reasons. Very few people get it cuz everyone just LOVES summer.
That I know it limits me. I’ve thrown in the towel. Sooooo much I’ve wanted to do in life, but, well, I just don’t give a crap anymore about trying because I rarely get anything done anymore that isn’t work related.
i think the worst part for me is the fear of being alienated. depression – it’s here to stay, and i accept it, as far as i can. but i fear my loved ones could not live with it as well as i do (which isn’t so well at times). i fear that in a matter of two, three years – i’ll be left alone.