I’m a 3 time attempt survivor. It’s RIDICULOUS how hard it is to kill this thing called our bodies. All three of my attempts should have been a certain death sentence, but NO. I’m still here. Does anyone believe in a higher power that prevents things like this if they really don’t want you do kill yourself? Because, honestly, I can’t think of any reason why these attempts failed. Just a question.
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I agree with you. I myself am a broken survivor n seeking helping with ending it all too.
I tend to feel like that too. At time life just fucks you up so much in so specific ways that it’s just too much for randomness. It’s like someone is having very fun making my life worse all the damn time. Regarding killing myself I blame that on my own inability to must up the courage… But even in this “random” events seem to prevent my death. If things outside of my control had not went the way they went last week, I would have most certainly have been dead right now… But no! World wants me alive and suffering.
Well, looks like you’re presented with a choice then; live the life the world wants you to or fight the world and live by one’s own decisions, like me.
I think if we had a more painless, quick method we would do it. For example, if you were handed a solution that if drank, would put you to sleep then kill you would you do it? I know I would. Our bodies are designed to avoid pain. And most suicide attempts unfortunately have to be painful to work.
You haven’t been around in a while. Something reminded me of you yesterday.
Yeah, i’d keep a vial of that “exit juice” around my neck for ctb worthy situations.
Yes, unless of it involves an accomplice
I’ve asked the same question more than once
After all the attempts I’ve made and still being here, I still have no idea.
I’m out of effort on the suicide ideas. I was sick of being unhappy. Sick of wanting to die.
I’ll go when I go I guess.
I Try to stay positive now.
And it’s not that bad, after the last attempt I figure every day is a bonus. I should have been dead long ago.
With my luck I’ll live forever ;p
Well, that’s good to hear; in happy for you though.
Maybe you are using the wrong methods.
If you tried overdosing, it’s the least effective way to commit suicide, btw
Well, only tried coal grilling so far. Never gave od much thought though.
Overdosing is not going to work
That’s what I figured from searching. Saw one that says it’s probably a 1 in 40 chance of happening
Are you only talking about OTC or people simply grabbing whatever is at hand? There is definitely a huge failure rate with that. But there are a list of combinations that are extremely reliable.
*is a list
Your more likely to cause yourself a shit ton of pain with an OD than a death.
Pills especially. Fucked my stomach right up.
Seizures another time. No death tho obviously
Instead of shooting a couple grams of heroin or something stupid like that you could try pumping yourself full of air bit from what I hear that’s a pain I wouldn’t put myself through
My chosen method is shooting my brains off. Gun always works. What did you try previously, anyway?
From my perspective of Higher Power, which is the Judaeo/Christian God, I have concluded that this God has no particular objection to suicide even though many of His followers sure as hell do. Strange no?
the survival instinct is a powerful biological drive which is hardwired, the evolutionary instinct is there for our survival. Suicidal thoughts are in part a psychological reaction to circumstance, our will to live goes much deeper.
That it’s so hard to kill ourselves can make us reflect on causality for suicidal thoughts, the choice to end it is final, it may bring instant reprieve, although, with it goes any chance for improvement and contentment.
I understand how hard it can be not finding a reliable and painless way out, and the pain involved in even thinking those thoughts, I’m sorry that you’ve experienced it.
Maybe our instincts are the higher power, evolution a greater influence than our reaction to circumstance, and it’s trying to show us a way out which is not suicide. We become biased and our thoughts only see one option, which is an option, although often not the only one.
I don’t like how people say, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Kind of what you said in the term of, “We will ruin any chance of improvement and contentment.” People act like everyone who commits suicide would have had their life turn around had they just waited. No, my life is currently a living hell. I want to die simply because I do not wish to endure this torture any longer. I don’t care if I have a 10% chance of it getting better, I just want it to end.
I totally agree with you. Sometimes problems don’t have solutions ever.
I don’t like when people use the cliché “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” either as it ignores complexity, it does not provide in depth reflection on individual causes and circumstance. It comes close to trivialising a serious topic at the expense of the people in pain, perhaps causing them even greater pain. Temporary may not be temporary to the person suffering, whether psychological or physical, which is why I said nothing of the sort.
This is what I said: “That it’s so hard to kill ourselves can make us reflect on causality for suicidal thoughts, the choice to end it is final, it may bring instant reprieve, although, with it goes any chance for improvement and contentment.” It differs to what you quoted me as saying, that’s ok though, I sometimes don’t take the time to clarify exactly my train if though, it can then end up coming across ambiguous.
Reading your reasons in your comment, they touch on what I meant, suicide can bring instant reprieve, my point was that it’s worth considering all options as suicide may bring that relief, there are downsides as well though. I don’t wish to endure torture either, no one does, we all want torture to end. It’s probable that we weren’t born into torture, that circumstance in our life has resulted in our current perspective, before suicide I try to bring back a return to life before that torture, if it’s even possible. I try everything I can to live, we will all die regardless.
Whether or not we choose to acknowledge it, even being on SP can be seen as looking for an improvement in our life, a way of coping which isn’t suicide. While we may want the torture to end we’re really looking for ways to improve our life.
SP isn’t a place to find m.ethods or partners, we’re not even meant to discuss those, other than a brief mention. So, if we can’t find the information here to commit suicide why do we return? There are enough sources of information online for those truly seeking a way out.
I’ve been here since 2013 and know that people do commit suicide here, each one is brutal and makes me contemplate my involvement here.
The number of suicides that are confirmed are relatively small though, especially when considering suicide statistics. My point, this place can be seen as a way to cope, which may reflect that we’re looking for a way out, not only suicide.
I’m in no way minimising pain, it’s real and present. I’m merely trying to have an open minded dialogue. Where all options are considered, as are our thoughts which can stem from our perspective.
I’m in no way minimising the pain we feel, it’s real and brutal.
what were you 3 attempts? OD?
I agree with @Night in Atlantis when he says that : “the survival instinct is a powerful biological drive which is hard wired”
We are programmed to survive long enough to reproduce -amoral instinct; hence the multiple morally dubious circumstances that bring about life- and then contribute to that offspring’s life in some sort of way.
Killing yourself means going against your programming. It can be done usually when the pain of living exceeds that of killing yourself but most people just trudge along.
They endure the pain, ***** about it but keep going. Some say: fuck it, I’m out.