Born would have been ok, provided death followed immediately and it perhaps could have if I had not been “saved ” by the then “modern” medical practices. Living has been miserable. Have wondered why I was born plenty of times. Surely there was a reason. Surely there was. But no current attempt at explanation has ever satisfied me. In the afterlife it will make sense, if it needs to. Probably I am not capable of comprehending the why right now.
My mother aborted the first one, and decided she didn’t want to go through that again. So she didn’t abort me. That’s why I was born, at least in causal terms and not in philosophical terms.
My existence thwarted her plans to go to college. My birth itself nearly killed her. My Baltimorean family had to completely uproot itself and move to some depressing swamp in the South in an attempt to give me a better future. My grandparents had to spend eighteen years of their lives raising me.
And after all of that, I still turned out to be an utter disappointment who will eventually kill herself, or worse. Meaning all of their sacrifices were for nothing.
Philosophically, I have no clue why I was born. All I know is that I shouldn’t’ve been, and if I could push a button to undo it, I probably would.
I’m adopted, so now that I’m that I’m contemplating everything I wonder sometimes how the pre adoptive guy would have turned out. I don’t regret it for one minute, I was very lucky to land with great parents and a great family. i know that some people on here weren’t so lucky with their family. I never married or had children, so now my parents are gone it’s the main reason I want the hell out of here among othere things. It’s really feels like “And then there was one”. Left behind and marooned in this damn place.
Woody I was adopted as well. I struggle with it. I always have. My parents are wonderful I mean they have their downfall as do all parents I’m sure and I feel bad to complain cause they have done so much for me but I know I’m not who they want me to be. I’m not a good little Christian girl I have issues I know they love me in their own way but I can never get over the fact that my bio parents gave me up and I know they had 7 other kids that they didn’t give up so I struggle with the fact that even as a embryo I wasn’t wanted. I wish they would have just aborted me. Saved me from the hell I go through.
the mistake is in thinking you are a body you are unborn your world and form arises because going out wandering the universe is an old habit be still and silent remain in your source <3<8
16 comments
I wonder how lucky I am to born into a family who doesn’t even want me and being stuck in it. Just my luck.
Born would have been ok, provided death followed immediately and it perhaps could have if I had not been “saved ” by the then “modern” medical practices. Living has been miserable. Have wondered why I was born plenty of times. Surely there was a reason. Surely there was. But no current attempt at explanation has ever satisfied me. In the afterlife it will make sense, if it needs to. Probably I am not capable of comprehending the why right now.
Because my parents had sex.
Mine should’ve stopped at 2. I was not necessary, nor wanted. SIgh.
Interesting that you mention not wanted. I was wanted for several wrong reasons. I guess the effect turned out to be same: sign up on SP.
My mother aborted the first one, and decided she didn’t want to go through that again. So she didn’t abort me. That’s why I was born, at least in causal terms and not in philosophical terms.
My existence thwarted her plans to go to college. My birth itself nearly killed her. My Baltimorean family had to completely uproot itself and move to some depressing swamp in the South in an attempt to give me a better future. My grandparents had to spend eighteen years of their lives raising me.
And after all of that, I still turned out to be an utter disappointment who will eventually kill herself, or worse. Meaning all of their sacrifices were for nothing.
Philosophically, I have no clue why I was born. All I know is that I shouldn’t’ve been, and if I could push a button to undo it, I probably would.
To think, you might’ve never existed had she not aborted the first one, and been spared a life on Earth, or at least, this life.
If only there was a DEL button we can press on ourselves. Instant *poof* out of existence.
I wish that every single day.
I figure it’s because people like me make other more worthy people appreciate what they have. Or maybe I was bad in a previous life.
I’m a firstborn. My parents did pretty good on their second try, though. So proud of my little sister. I hope she never has to find this site.
Oops, meant to send this as a reply.
God’s revenge, I guess. I feel he hates me a hell lot.
Yeah, if there was a God, I’m sure he hates me too, which is why I was made to suffer my entire life.
I’m adopted, so now that I’m that I’m contemplating everything I wonder sometimes how the pre adoptive guy would have turned out. I don’t regret it for one minute, I was very lucky to land with great parents and a great family. i know that some people on here weren’t so lucky with their family. I never married or had children, so now my parents are gone it’s the main reason I want the hell out of here among othere things. It’s really feels like “And then there was one”. Left behind and marooned in this damn place.
Woody I was adopted as well. I struggle with it. I always have. My parents are wonderful I mean they have their downfall as do all parents I’m sure and I feel bad to complain cause they have done so much for me but I know I’m not who they want me to be. I’m not a good little Christian girl I have issues I know they love me in their own way but I can never get over the fact that my bio parents gave me up and I know they had 7 other kids that they didn’t give up so I struggle with the fact that even as a embryo I wasn’t wanted. I wish they would have just aborted me. Saved me from the hell I go through.
the mistake is in thinking you are a body you are unborn your world and form arises because going out wandering the universe is an old habit be still and silent remain in your source <3<8