All by myself

I feel all alone all the time even if there are other people around. I’ve basically forgot how to survive , how to communicate and terrified to ever trust anyone again because nothing but pain has come from trusting people. Since I moved to this shit hole of a area in my city I haven’t been more alone my dad is gone 90% of the time and when he is here he’s drunk. my best friend that I have known since we were 4 years old just one day says we aren’t friends anymore and my other best friend my only friend is a total flake he will say ” ya I’m going to come with you ” then last minute just drops out. My life sucks i have nothing to do because this area is new and its close to becoming one of the shit hole hoods cant go out and talk because people here don’t even speak fucking English and no real bar. So what’s the point of living if you have nothing to live for? no girlfriend, no job , no friends and no fucking life. All life for me is shit nothing but emptiness , ever wonder what your funeral would be like? to know who comes or how you were remembered I always think of that. this kinda shit always makes you think ” what’s the point of living is today the day ? ” but that day never comes to most some are just afraid like me some find something to live for but fear is always the answer in the end. I always will want to but never will because I’m afraid of the aftermath. This fear this self loathing will consume everyone will feel this but only few go all the way.