Turning my hatred towards the healthy people doesn’t lessen the hatred that I have for Kat. I think a part of me thought it would. Just for thinking that, I deserve every bit of it.
No, thinking that makes you human. A part of you wants to lessen that self-hate, and turning it on “healthy people” seemed like a prime outlet. They do afterall have what you want. So, you most definitely don’t deserve “every bit of it”.
It wasn’t wrong or selfish. It was only thoughts. You didn’t impact negatively on anyone, and you even had the self-awareness to know that it was possibly just a phase. You’re being a bit hard on yourself.
I suppose it depends on the audience. People that know you. I don’t think they would. A random audience its quite possible. I think we have all read stories about someone on a rooftop or ledge. With a crowd below laughing, making jokes, encouraging them to jump. People that just want to see the show and have a story to tell later. I am sure you could google crowd encourages suicide or something similar to find stories. People are fucked up.
The feeling here is what counts. People have cheered on the death of another in public. I will be pondering what you have written. If I think of something worth sharing I will share. But yeah, this is quite an expression. I do want to thank you for putting this out here.
Perhaps an audience actually laughing and cheering as you off yourself would be a powerful negative affirmation of an internal belief that you are a joke. If so, boy can I relate. Or perhaps an audience actually laughing and cheering as you off yourself would be a powerful means of cheering you on to end it all. I bet if I had had that kind of audience four years ago I would be pushing up daisies right now. That is quite a thought you have, It seems I might have thought it once long ago myself.
Public executions used to be quite a festive event in 19th century America. Entire families would show up to watch a convicted man get hanged. It was a form of entertainment which delighted crowds.
Going back further, pitting hungry lions against Christians in ancient Rome was also a crowd favorite.
Some people seem to feel better about themselves when they’re watching others suffer. – It’s not you, it’s them.
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That’s quite a horrible thought to have, and I’m sorry that you’re having them. However, that’s what it is, only a thought. A reflection of self-hate.
Yeah, self-hate is right.
Turning my hatred towards the healthy people doesn’t lessen the hatred that I have for Kat. I think a part of me thought it would. Just for thinking that, I deserve every bit of it.
No, thinking that makes you human. A part of you wants to lessen that self-hate, and turning it on “healthy people” seemed like a prime outlet. They do afterall have what you want. So, you most definitely don’t deserve “every bit of it”.
Maybe. But it was wrong. It was selfish.
It wasn’t wrong or selfish. It was only thoughts. You didn’t impact negatively on anyone, and you even had the self-awareness to know that it was possibly just a phase. You’re being a bit hard on yourself.
You’re right, I did suspect that it was a phase. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself but I still feel bad.
Hello whiskered-fish,
You know me, if I off myself in front of an audience if they didn’t laugh i’d kill myself! 🙂
Hey rocketman, I haven’t seen you here in quite a while. Glad to know you’re still alive.
I suppose it depends on the audience. People that know you. I don’t think they would. A random audience its quite possible. I think we have all read stories about someone on a rooftop or ledge. With a crowd below laughing, making jokes, encouraging them to jump. People that just want to see the show and have a story to tell later. I am sure you could google crowd encourages suicide or something similar to find stories. People are fucked up.
That’s an incredibly depressing thought. I never really considered that it might happen that often.
I will never understand people.
Aye 🙁 I wouldn’t be laughing.
I hope you don’t dwell on this thought too much, it sounds uncomfortable
Yeah, I know some people wouldn’t be laughing. There are lots of people here who appreciate my existence, and I’m very grateful for that.
The feeling here is what counts. People have cheered on the death of another in public. I will be pondering what you have written. If I think of something worth sharing I will share. But yeah, this is quite an expression. I do want to thank you for putting this out here.
You’re very welcome.
Perhaps an audience actually laughing and cheering as you off yourself would be a powerful negative affirmation of an internal belief that you are a joke. If so, boy can I relate. Or perhaps an audience actually laughing and cheering as you off yourself would be a powerful means of cheering you on to end it all. I bet if I had had that kind of audience four years ago I would be pushing up daisies right now. That is quite a thought you have, It seems I might have thought it once long ago myself.
Well, I do certainly feel like a joke. I feel like people are constantly laughing at me behind my back.
Public executions used to be quite a festive event in 19th century America. Entire families would show up to watch a convicted man get hanged. It was a form of entertainment which delighted crowds.
Going back further, pitting hungry lions against Christians in ancient Rome was also a crowd favorite.
Some people seem to feel better about themselves when they’re watching others suffer. – It’s not you, it’s them.
That’s a good point. I guess people are just fucked up.