When people say it gets better I believe that to be a lie. I have been dealing with depression for most of my life and just when you get better shit comes up and drags me back the the darkness of my mind and chains me back up until I can get free then drags me back into a endless cycle. From my experience it is always a endless cycle of in and out of depression. And I’m sick and tired of fighting, I’m sick and tired of people telling me that it’s going to get better because for most of my life when it does I’m just dragged back in. Congratulations for the people who can get out of the cycle of depression. But for me I fear that I’ll never get out and one day I’ll die before I’ll do something with my life but I’m getting to the point where I just don’t care where I could just committe suicide with a smile on my face. I could say that I took the easy way out and I’m glad, glad that I don’t have to fight because the war inside of my mind is still there and the darkness is about to win but I’m trying and trying to turn it around but I’m just tired of everything.
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Same. People are always pulling that “It will get better” or “Nothing lasts forever” horse shit. Maybe it does for them, but as for me it’s like pissing in the wind. Not only does it NEVER get any better, but I only seem to acquire even more problems without resolving the ones I already have. Back in 2004, I was in a “crisis” hospital for kids and teens for wanting to commit suicide. I remember clearly being interviewed in this one room about what had happened, and the counselor said “in the future you’ll be glad you have yourself a chance.” 13 years later I’m in my late 20’s, ugly as fuck with a little thumb dick that doesn’t even work. I work for peanuts at jobs that I hate, I never get anything I want no matter how hard I try and I’m inferior in so many ways. The only thing I wish I “gave a chance to” this entire time was making more of an effort to kill myself before I let it get so bad. Life sucks.
*GAVE yourself a chance