As I posted a bit earlier, my depression has come back with a vengeance. Next Monday I will (would ?) see my psychologist; she’s very good and can read me like a book. If I see her, I already know what will happen. She will move heaven and earth to arrange weekly emergency appointments with me, each session will be intensely about keeping me alive, I’ll have to make promises (and I find it impossible to lie to her), she’ll get in touch with my psychiatrist.
I feel, unless I pull myself up before it’s to late, I’m beyond help (see my last post). So I think of ending it Thursday evening, before I see her again. But the next two days, I’ll try and ficht back one last time. At the same time there are s few things I have to put in order before I go. Can I fight back, and prepare at the same time? Tidying things up will be helpful in any case, so maybe yes.