There’s that common saying many of us have probably heard once or twice. “Good things happen to good people”. I believe it’s true but sometimes it takes so long you start to doubt it will ever come around. The energy you put out is supposed to come back in. But when?
Patience is hard to keep when you feel like your kindness and wholeheartedness continues to go unappreciated. It’s tough being a nice person. It’s tough learning how to identify people who are no good for you when you have no malice in your heart and you just automatically give people the benefit of the doubt.
It’s not easy to see when someone is playing games with you and just leading you on cause in your heart of hearts you believe they aren’t capable of playing with your emotions. You think you’ve shown them that you’re a good person and they aren’t gonna do wrong by you. Even if the last person who acted similarly did fuck you over, you say to yourself that not everyone is the same and this one could be different.
Sometimes I wish I could just be an asshole for a day, but I know my conscience won’t leave me in peace. I’ll constantly be worried about how I may have negatively affected someone. Kindheartedness can be a burden sometimes. I think of other people’s feelings before I think of my own. I could be down to my last dollar but if a friend needs help I’ll spend it on them even if it means I won’t eat that day. “It could be worse” is the excuse.
How do you find a balance between being nice and not? Can someone change or are we destined to carry this burden forever? It makes me want to give up. Life is too hard when you’re like this.
5 comments
Im stuck same place as u, i trusted people who took advantage of me, and ruined my life…
Yea, being nice, and evil people say, oh look at that stupid, lets go use/abuse him/her.
The evil are stupid, and will pay for their wrongdoings…
It all depends to people u live among, from closest to furthest… Are they good or not? But again , people also can change , like my uncle who after marriage turned into a selfish guy…
So i dont know,
If u found the answer let me know lol
I am going into solitude for a reason, i trust no one no more…
I dont think life has some kind of rule. Bad and good things happen to good people. For me just happen bad things, but like you, I can not act like an asshole. Yeah, we have to be good and wait for life (I mean other people) ruin our life
It rains on the righteous and unrighteous. Bad things happen to everyone. But there’s another saying: when someone shows who they are, believe them. That doesn’t mean you have to be awful back to them, but you don’t have to let them be close to you either. There are some bad people in this world and you have to be smart. Spending your life angry and bitter is pretty unhelpful too.
I finally stopped being nice to other people for their sake. They never gave me what I wanted. I’m nice to people because kindness is revolutionary. There is nothing that messes with cruel people like being nice to them. If someone hurts you, and you try to hurt them back, what do they feel? They get to feel better because at least they hurt someone else. If you just smile, and ask them if there is anything you can do for them, what then? They don’t know what to do.
In their head they know they tried to hurt you, but you responded with kindness…
Anyway, being a jerk is an option also. You don’t have to be mean to be a jerk, you can just be abrupt, blunt, and have no compassion for whatever people say to you. All you have to do every time someone tries to inspire emotion in you is say “So what?”
In terms of change, it’s possible. I started out as a people pleaser, for at least a few years I was completely self centered, and now I’ve found a balance. I’m a little more selfish than nice.
I have trust issues too. Be kind to people, but do NOT let them walk all over you! People will take advantage of you if you let them. This is why I backed off of dating. Guys can sense when a girl is vulnerable or insecure and they prey on girls like that. To be honest, I have a slight hatred for men, but I’m trying to give my heart time to heal.
Heartlessviking mentioned being kind to cruel people. Yeah, to a certain extent. Keep them at a distance. Someone came back into my life and he was clearly a sociopath, I didn’t realize it before. I had to be nice to him for my own safety just so I didn’t feel threatened by him anymore. Being kind to him got me on his good side so now I’m backing off and he seems to be going away on his own which is great.
People can be nuts, just try to be the best person you can be. And don’t ignore warning signs/red flags. If your instincts tell you something is off, run. We need more good people like you in the world.