I just want to get out of everything

Hockey season is starting and already there has been lots of drama in my team. It really doesn’t have much to do with me but being around it and talking to people about it got really stressful. Although it’s mainly over now I am still tired from it and already made me feel really down getting into the season. My club games have already started and I’ve played pretty average. I always feel like I’m letting me team down ever since my Dad told me in the car before a game that I was letting the team down and I wasn’t doing good enough. I do try my best but ever since my Dad told me this I’ve been on edge and always remember it, it stuffs my game up thinking like this but now I feel like I’m not going to do any good this year especially with our first school game tommrow I’m getting really depressed because I feel like the team is going to get angry at me because I’m going to play bad and let my team down. I want to cut myself, I want to cut lots and I want to get out of everything and I have lots of tests this week because is the last day of term and I can’t bring myself to study or do anything, the only thing I can bring myself to do right now is draw and listen to music, I just want to get out of everything. I feel really horrible right now and I’m really worried for tomorrow. I don’t know what to do, I can’t do anything.