I’m sinking…

i’m sinking. I have been taken advantage by guys so man times I’m starting to think i deserve it. I don’t know what I did or do to deserve it, it just keeps happening. And I’m all alone. I’m not the person i use to be, I was always the crazy, fun, and happy girl. I was that cool popular girl in high, a party was never a party unless i was there. But after graduation, I don’t have all those distractions anymore, so the pain and anxiety and sadness is rushing in. flooding in. Drowning me. I’m thinking about just ending it all so much more often now, i don’t know what to do. I tried telling multiple people that i’m not doing good, that I’m sinking, I’ve done my cry for help and no one cared… no one is taking me seriously. maybe they think who i use to be makes it impossible to think that i’d want to end it. but that’s what makes it so much worse. I use to be someone with people always wondering what i’m up to, what clothes i’m wearing, what guy i’m dating. I was always happy back then, on the surface at least, and now i’m alone…all the time. and now..now no one cares. I feel like im drowning in tears when i go to bed every night.