Just something I wrote

My flesh is alive

My soul is dead

In my case, really

There’s nothing left to be said

 

But for those of you

Who want to know,

I’ll tell you my story.

It starts years ago.

 

When I was little

My parents got separated.

I can’t remember life before that,

All those memories have faded.

 

I remember meeting my dad’s girlfriend,

And she was like the stories say.

The wicked witch took control of my mind;

Her mean words stuck with me, night and day.

 

That wasn’t enough, as fate would have it.

This mean little girl bullied me at school.

I can’t speak of what she did and said,

I can’t speak because it was just too cruel.

 

I started to think

I wasn’t meant to be.

If you were in my shoes,

I’m sure you’d agree.

 

Flash forward a handful of years

I’m in 11th grade.

I have the worst job in the world,

It wasn’t even worth what I got paid.

 

When I graduated,

I headed to Wisconsin.

I lived in seclusion

In the hall named Johnson.

 

My depression and anxiety

Had me living in fear.

I couldn’t face the stress,

Of deciding my career.

 

I made the decision

that I wanted to die.

I didn’t want to live in this world,

Where all I would do was cry.

 

When I went home to visit my mom,

I stole a knife and sharpener from the drawer.

I wanted to make sure the knife was sharp,

so I didn’t have to live here anymore.

 

A couple weeks later,

I picked up the knife.

I was about to let out

My precious breath of life.

 

I cut my neck once, I cut it twice.

I kept on doing this for a while.

I didn’t care that

I wasn’t going out in style.

 

When I was about to cut again

I heard a little voice.

It was the voice of God,

Saying that I had a choice.

 

I didn’t have to do it,

I had the choice to stay.

Then I thought of my family,

They wouldn’t want me to go away.

 

I ended up coming home,

and going to therapy.

I made some friends,

and it gave me lots of clarity.

 

But since I’ve finished

I’ve slipped back down the slope

I can’t see the light

And I don’t have any hope.

 

My family and friends

will miss me, I know.

I am in the worst

imaginable pain though.

 

So there was my story

I hope I didn’t bore you.

But I’ve done my job

If I’ve taught you a thing or two.

 

Be nice to people

Is my simple rule

When will you learn

Being mean isn’t cool.