My grandmother always told me never loose hope. That is all you will ever need. Well today I have lost hope.
Im giving up.
This fight is hard! I jsit wanna kill my self and be done. Who will care? Parents got a beach house nice boat. Sister married doing her thing. Bubba doing his thing.
Me? What I’m doing? I’m a HUGE. Fuck up! I can’t keep a job for more than 3 months. I got fired from one and quit the rest.
Dude I have nothing going for me and I’m 20.
a long life of disappointment ahead pretty much.
So why don’t I just kill my self now? Save loved ones the trouble of more disappointment?
gah I know my boyfriend of a year will be more than happy to get away. I’m pretty sure he’s looking a way out any ways. We fight over everything because I’m such a piece of shit.
i wish someone would jsit give me a hand book on how to be perfect. Because I’ll be damned if it ain’t hard. I fail at everything.
id rather just die.
im just scared to end it. I know that’s stupid. For so long I’ve always had a little hope that tomorrow will be better.but hear lately my hope has completely drained out.
7 comments
No offence to your grandma, but hope can drive a person crazy
I know how you feel, I’ll be 21 in a couple months from now and I’m pretty much the definition of a failure. Life sucks there is no point anymore. There is especially no point if you aren’t doing what the “average” 21 year old is. I can’t stand being a failure anymore. There is no hope.
This question is for you and OP: Do you consider yourself a failure because you’re not getting anything you want out of life or is from the perspective of what society expects you to be?
Both, I’m failing at getting the things that society tells me I should have, and the things that I would like to have.
I am a failure but I’d like to grow from my fuckupsbit it’s really hard when everyone reminds me I’m a fuck up
Try to hang in there. Do it for granny 🙂
I don’t think you’re a fuck-up.
You just have high expectations for both yourself and life. You look at your parents with ther beach house and their boat, you look at your sister with her marriage, you look at yourself and feel like you’re falling short.
Until recently, you always hoped that life would turn out all right, or even good. But you’ve been disappointed again and again.
On top of this, you fear your boyfriend, whom you argue with frequently, will leave you. And apparently people even tell you you’re a fuck-up.
I think the problem is different: that your expectations are getting in your way. You talk about perfection, wanting to be perfect.
Instead, my advice would be to practise being pleased with what you’ve got. I know it sounds unambitious, but hear me out:
What is the use of achieving anything if are incapable of enjoying it once you have it?
Practise enjoying what you have, including yourself. Don’t worry so much about the future, it will come regardless.
Here is one way to practise gratitude: regularly write down what went well, and why. You could do it before bed, or when you wake up, or both. Whatever suits you.
The point of the exercise is not to find the most amazing things that happened to you, and you didn’t fail at it if what you came up with sounds lame and unexciting. The point is to practise looking for things to be grateful for.