About a month ago I posted my situation. Married 27 years, living in chronic pain from several spinal surgeries that have failed, copd in stage 2-3 etc…Basically a 49 year man with the body of a 90 year old. My wife had told me she was having an affair and leaving me because she could not handle being married to someone who had lost everything and was a burden on her. My quality of life was in the toilet already but the affair and losing her had sent me into a deep depression that I had never know before. I found this site and was mentally getting myself ready to end it all. Last week I was going to purchase the thing I had chosen to use on Wednesday. Tuesday driving my heart went into Afib, I got to an er where I had a heart attack and they had to shock me several times to restart my heart. The stress combined with having COPD/Emphysema and smoking 3 packs a day from the stress was the cause. I was admitted to the hospital for a few days and released. I went to my pain management Dr and cried, told her what i going on and they gave me Suboxone for the depression and to stop pain killers right away(they mess with you emotionally). In a matter of hours, not days I felt my depression being lifted. Its been a few days and emotionally, it put me in a better place. It allowed me to finally talk to my wife, I mean have a real conversation. She was able to see my guilt and pain and i am trying to understand why she went to the place she did as a caregiver who just couldn’t take t anymore. My body is still going to get worse over time BUT my point to this rambling post….IF you have the will to live in you, get to a dr and try Suboxone. It is usually for withdrawl from drugs but off label is for depression and I swear on my life to you, You WILL find a place emotionally that allows to see a light out there. I was 1 day from my exit from this World,I had already tried another mthod which failed and was a horrible experience. Had my heart not gave out on Tuesday, I would have died on Wednesday with no doubt of it’s success then.
For the first time since I first was hurt in 2007, my wife and I are able to talk, really talk about how we feel emotionally and physically. I didn’t want to die but knew I could not live without her. In our(your) darkest moment in life, there is a light. We just sometimes are missing that one piece to help us see it. This medication was mine and I am not trying to promote a product or anything, I am hoping that one person reads it and thinks ” What do I have to lose, I’ll try it for a bit I PROMISE YOU, Hours, not days you will feel better despite everything going on in your world at that moment. It will allow you to utilize your brain again and all of a sudden, little thoughts of hope snowball and grow. I did this. You can too. Trust this stranger who cannot form a proper paragraph please.
Community moderators- I hope you can pick up my sincerity here and believe me when I say, I am not trying to push some product. Not many Drs know about thiss amazing benefit yet. It is in FDA studies right now for that purpose but it saved my life and I knew I had to tell others out there. It doesnt get you high or anything like that, it just s 10,000x’s better than any so called anti-depressant on the planet. Thanks and if this violates any rules, I will delete right away but again, I hope you see this as hope for someone else.
7 comments
It’s good to hear that things are looking up. Your son will be glad to have his father at his wedding.
Thank you 🙂 I know no child should have to worry about a parent ending their life so I am trying to stay strong and be there
Hey, Thanks, it should be sort of a drug, i guess, do doctors prescribe it for depression?
i would never forgive a woman who did adultry.
It is used to treat addicts and stop withdrawl but some pain management drs have learned the possitve effects for depression. From what I have read, it is in clinical trials now for that but still not “medically accepted” for it even though it works. The adultry is mixed. I understand the need for sex, I really do and as hard as it is to aaccept, its the emotional aspect that hurts worse.
I am so glad you posted this. My heart really went out to you. You deserve some peace and love and closure. Glad you reached for it, man.
Thank you. It was the most heart wrenching time I have ever gone thru. Even though it’s not over,I feel like there is hope, no matter how small. I see why she did and said what she said…I didn’t ever consider how hard it was on her. I still think she’s selfish but instead of giving up like I almost did, I refuse to now. Will I be able to fightt the fight for a year, month day whtever? I dont know but I am just happy to ll be here. Comments like yours put a smile on my face and warm my heart. Tells me there are still good people out there and reaching out for help is okay to do. I hope someone else in that place I was weeks ago reads my post here and it maybe helps them make t thru another day.
People do read old posts, Scott. I remember praying for you (for whatever that’s worth these days). It seemed so beyond any measure of comfort anyone could offer and so i just prayed for you. I will tonight again, too.
Again, I think it’s really wonderful that you came back to share your story. Wishing you the best.