and it’s hilarious when you think about it. all we do is to impress others. We work hard to gather money, build a decent life, keep our selves educated, sound intelligent and win every god damn conversation or stay in shape, look good, make great art, etc only impress, whether it is the opposite gender, to mate or your boss or co-worker which in the end leads to the same thing. we do that for so long until time takes all away and leaves you alone with your flabby skin and your memories of your struggle. and time does it quick. even if you manage to achieve a lot, it’s all gone in a blink of an eye. you won’t even remember how you felt when you achieved what you were looking for.
if no one was looking would you care how you looked? what car you drive? what kind of music you make? would you even bother making it? would you still paint? as a painter I have recently decided to stop making art all together since I realize there is no comfort in it once you know it’s all for nothing. especially in this era when every single person on this planet is making art.
Why people don’t understand that all they do is already forgotten? you just take a look at any social media and watch any form of art being mass produced to a level that it doesn’t even make sense anymore to make any art. everything is already done and being done repetitively. how many paintings, how many lyrics, photographs or films is enough? how advanced your computers and your cars have to be? how much scientific achievement is enough? I guess human race will finally gets so advanced it will colonize even the freakin Sun. and then what? isn’t this race entertained enough already? how long until everyone finally face the only real question that needs to be answered? why? why do you even bother? to achieve what? a transient happiness that won’t even matter tomorrow when you face your new challenges?
looking at every day I have lived during the past five months, I see no difference between being here or being gone. just look at your yesterday or the day before, did it really matter that you were here? even if you fully enjoyed it, so what? it’s gone. even if you hadn’t it would still be gone.
I guess there are two options; whether we are mere biological machines as current established science implies or we have a separate consciousness. I realize that I don’t want to be a freakin machine. I simply refuse to function as one. so if the former is true, I have no regret in stopping this malfunctioning machine. if the latter is true, well, I’d still rather leave this stupid game and continue this so called journey somewhere else.
sorry about the messy rant.
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You know I did work for a retirement home a while back, now keep in mind this was a VERY high class retirement home, where only millionaires could afford to live there. Looking around I saw all these people, they would tell me their stories of all they accomplished, their wonderful lives, their high education, them meeting the presidents, creating multi-million dollar companies, modeling, a lot of them were probably attractive in their younger life but looking at them now, old, wrinkly, doing nothing but staring at a tv or having a nurse come help them take a shit. All that money, millions of dollars and they can’t do anything with it, it made me realize how shitty life really is, how there really is no purpose to what we do. Everything we accomplish no matter how small or big is meaningless in the end. It also makes me realize how much I want to die young, I don’t want to go through this world, it’s a sorry excuse for life.
thanks for the comment and yes, exactly! I agree with every word you said. I too have decided already to leave here young.
you see, we have this jigsaw picture of how life is going to be when we are teenagers and then life starts taking it away piece by piece and it starts with pieces that we think don’t matter. like when you are making a jigsaw puzzle of Monalisa and you are under this impression that it’s the pieces that make the famous smile that are the most important ones. in the end, life finally takes the pieces we had our focus on too, or let’s you have them randomly. pieces that we thought were the core of the picture. and it’s only then that you realize that even if you find the pieces that were most precious to you, your whole picture was ruined from the get go. from the very moment you lost pieces you thought you can live with. by that time, most of us are in our 40’s if we are lucky. and it’s basically the story of every one of us no matter how successful of failure we are.
It seems like even the simple things I enjoyed are gone away. Like going to concerts was my escape and now I don’t think I can even be mentally or physically ready to go to one in a few months. It always requires me to work out so I don’t feel like a total slob at a show and I can’t even force myself to work out. Then there’s the mental preparation, having to deal with being surrounded by people and I feel too afraid to do that. There’s so much pain attached to it because I don’t want to miss this particular singer again…and I have no one to go with. I’ve been to shows alone and I stand out like a sore thumb.
Ugh, I agree with everything said here. I’m unhappy and all the pieces feel lost already. I don’t know how to get any of it back. I help others, but I feel resentment about it. It seems like no matter what you do, someone always comes along and does it better anyway. I overheard a family member I help out a lot talk down about me on the phone and that really felt like a betrayal. I can’t trust anyone. Maybe I give myself false hope to keep going, but I should seriously consider an exit plan.
I swear I have no fear of dying anymore, it’s the life that scares the hell out of me. when I see many people here feel depressed because they think they haven’t succeed in things they think would’ve made them happy I want to tell all of them that screw what you think would make you happy in the future. it probably wouldn’t have as mush as you think it would. that’s because when you reach that goal in your future, you are already a different person and you set other goals and so on. what you go through to accomplish that goal will have changed you by the time you are there.
many times, when we reach our goals, we realize that if anything really mattered, it was that unimportant piece we shrugged off when taken away. being, a parent, a friend, or simply the position we once were at in life. that’s what I think is scary and depressive. it’s carrying the weight of being alive that is depressing once you become self aware about it.
It’s upsetting because even though we realize it’s all for nothing, as long as we are alive, we are still stuck with feeling inferior for not measuring up. My cousin will be having a baby soon and everyone will be all mushy over it like it’s the best thing in the world and I’ll still be stuck feeling like a piece of shit because I don’t fit in with society. So it sucks because I really don’t want to do anything, but as long as we’re here, we’re still judged and compared to others. It’s not fair. I guess I should move away by myself and then everything wouldn’t be so in my face as far as family goes, but I really don’t think I can handle living on my own. It’s just gotta be a way out of this mess…
exactly how see it. it’s horrible what we have to go through just because society wants us to. one thing that always hits me is how people are manipulated by the society to believe that there is something glorious about their struggle. that they can be proud of having it hard; the more you go through the manlier you are.
if you simply choose to do nothing (which I personally believe should be a serious option to consider for every one of us) you’ll be frowned upon. you have to assume the role made for you. there is no excuse! if you are depressed, no worries, the established medical system “fixes” your so called imbalanced brain chemistry and sends you back into your society as a labor which is all that matters.
if going away is really an option for you, I’d give it a shot. the time you will have by yourself and the self exploration that follows, could give you a clearer picture of where you stand right now and that what your options are from now on.
This whole ‘life’ is for nothing, I agree.
I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and want to share partial lyrics to a song called Amused to Death, by Roger Waters. What you said, “isnt this race entertained enough?” No, we’re not.
“We watched the tragedy unfold
We did as we were told
We bought and sold
It was the greatest show on earth
But then it was over
We oohed and aahed
We drove our racing cars
We ate our last few jars of caviar
And somewhere out there in the stars
A keen-eyed look-out
Spied a flickering light
Our last hurrah
And when they found our shadows
Groups ’round the TV sets
They ran down every lead
They repeated every test
They checked out all the data in their lists
And then the alien anthropologists
Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason
For our sad demise
They logged the only explanation left
This species has amused itself to death
No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has amused itself to death
Amused itself to death.”
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Thanks for sharing those lyrics Chip. Roger Waters and Pink Floyd always gets it right. They know exactly what to say. “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” was always a favorite. Sums everything up perfectly.
thanks for the very relevant and beautiful lyrics, Roger Water’s It’s a Miracle also somehow conveys the same message. which is another great song by the man.
I wish Art could really make a difference. like, everyone who listened to this song would choose an entirely different lifestyle afterwards.lol
Yes!
yup, agree
Yes this pain is for nothing. Pointless never ending pain only to die off and possibly end up in hell where we suffer in an unimaginable way for an actual eternity.
This feels like it’s eternal and I can’t even take it, imagine hell? Sadistic tyrant.