But she hasnt left me. Shes still with me. Whatever that means. It still feels like a break up because regardless of what she says she doesnt love me or want me anymore. So i’m left once again. I always knew it was my fault, i’m not someone people want in their lives, i dont have a purpose to anyone anymore. I’m going to be alone my whole life because no one wants someone they have to try to love. and its my fault.
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When me and me now ex-girlfriend were together for the ~fifth month.. She said almost the same.
She was in a weird mood. We were in a park, then she said: “i’m sorry to say that, but in the past few days I were full of your stuff. You know, it’s hard to love you, and I’m thinkng if I chose the right person when I could choose from 3 boys back then. I know, I chose you for a reason, but I don’t know, for what reason. But I love you.”
We talked a lot that day. At the end of the day, we were okay again.
And then… ~2 months later, at april 6, everything changed. Then she unfortunately broke up. This was a really selfish decision from her.
I’m afraid that I won’t be able to find a new love, too. I know that feeling.
But hey, maybe there won’t be any further problem with your relationship. I hope so.
And if yes, there’s always some kind of hope.
(Let’s be honest, our feelings are identical, if interested, read my last post.)
I seen her today, And we seemed okay. She told me she was sorry she lost it for a while, like because i came and tried to be a couple, brought her food spent the day with her it were easy to love me again. I don’t know how i feel about it. I don’t know if i accept that she told me she loved me and kissed me today when i couldn’t get her to tell me she loved me or even wanted to be with me a few days ago. Maybe its just easier when i’m there instead of in separate house. We live together most of the year in our apartment where we go to school but we’re home for summer break and that always takes a toll on our relationship, but this was big. I cried myself to sleep for days and it only ended because i needed it to. i went to her because i’m pathetic and need her a hell of a lot more than she needs me. Am i stupid for helplessly and hopelessly loving her and accepting the I love yous now? It didn’t feel real when i thought about it, but nothing has ever felt as good as when she hugged me when i showed up on her doorstep. I dont know. I just want to not be this person who puts herself in this situation anymore.
I really hope everything will be fine. Sorry, I can not say anymore, since I’m also kinda dead inside.
I’m glad if you were okay together.
Everyone is hard to love, especially when you are young. There is a certain level of mutability you have to learn through trial and error.
You are hard to love. She is hard to love. Both of you are dropping emotional baggage all over the place, in the dark, and it’s one big stumble fest. My son, at eight, told me, “Love is like a slice of pie with an extra scoop of confusion.” Everybody goes through this.
Love is hard. Love gets you a bunch of good shit. Anger is easy and it gets you nothing. Sounds like about every other fucking thing in the world. Gravity, Retirement Accounts, Food Preparation, Weight Loss, Taming Monkeys, etc.
We are born with the innate ability to only love our parents. Everything else has to be learned… from our parents. If you have shitty parents, or even good parents that simply fuck up on a few critical lessons, it plays holy hell with learning to relate to yourself and others. Thems the breaks; now it’s up to you to figure it out.
It’s doable. I did it. My son just passed the one year mark in his first significant relationship, so he’s obviously doing something right. You can do it, too.