I don’t want to die today. I just want to sleep for a very long time. A coma would be nice.
I rarely feel sad. I’m usually afraid, angry, confused, or numb. Not sad. Today, though? Today is different. My heart is broken, and I’ve forgotten how potent and crippling sadness can be.
Consciousness is a burden I just can’t handle right now. I’m weak, too weak to live, and that’s a reality I can’t escape. I think I’m going to swallow a bunch of melatonin and hope to sleep through this.
7 comments
It’s hard, I know. Maybe just one melatonin, otherwise you’ll wake up with a terrible headache. Hugs to you, Whisk.
Thanks. I slept, but when I woke up, I was still me. All the more reason to wish for a permanent sleep.
Sometimes you just want to go to sleep and wake up when everything is right and good again, don’t you? I know it’s hard, sadness and hurt are so difficult, and I hope it’ll get better for you soon. Maybe after you wake up, it’ll be already better.
Thank you. After I woke up, things still weren’t good, but I wasn’t as heartbroken as I had been before. So that was good.
Hey Whiskered one:
Sorry to hear you are feeling down. I hope you feel better soon–you are a very important part of S.P. I have always been curious how you got your name. Care to share any clues??
Thank you. I personally don’t see myself as being really important, on SP or elsewhere. But I appreciate your words.
As for my username, it’s a disappointingly mundane story. The day I finally decided to make an account here, I had catfish on my mind. I live sandwiched between a lake and a swamp, and I’d spent that entire afternoon fishing with a neighbor. We’d been hoping for carp, but for some reason, all we caught were catfish. Catfish after catfish.
I dunno, my head was a fuzzy mess that day, just like it always is, and for whatever reason, all I could think about were the fish. So that’s where I got my username, and my pseudonym, Kat.
fishing with the neighbor [= what a nice story.