don’t you dare compete with other peoples pain. since when is this a competition??? reading other comments on tons of posts saying that other people have it worse, that someone is hurt more than others, blah blah blah.
fun fact: EVERYONE HURTS. accept it. help each other and we can all grow stronger together.
belittling someone else’s pain isn’t gonna make you feel better. and, why do you wanna be the one to “hurt more” anyways? wouldn’t u typically consider that an.. idk.. bad thing?
sorry im hella emotional right now and i got kinda mad. sorry friends i love you all, this is just my opinion. have a wonderful day and/or night and always keep fighting 🙂 much love to you all.
7 comments
Exactly. We all have a tragic back story and its not a god damn competition. We all meed to be nice and listen. Not compete.
Yes I totally agree. Cause the way I look at it… granted I’m in hell hole over my health. Both physically and mentally. And I might say “what I would do to be normal” but than here it is someone who is technically classified as “normall” goes and kill themselves overy depression or a quick bad reaction to some tough shit for them. Whatever the case may be.. they still had the pain enough for there own suicide. For you to hate yourself that much you have to seriously be going through some tough shit. No matter what the case is.. it takes a lot to do it. It’s hard to do it. So the way I look at the whole subject. If your committing suicide or seriously debating it.. you have to be going through hell.
I’m in the same boat and yeah… I always think “if I didn’t have all these medical problems, I would be happy” and I’m sure I would be happier, but… I’m also terrified that even if that were to happen somehow, I’d still be depressed because that’s how my brain is wired.
I think a lot of it comes down to just that: how the person’s brain is wired. And we have to somehow learn how to tell our brains “screw you” and overcome that.
well I guess the point of saying “someone has it worse than you” is not to belittle one’s pain but to make THEM feel less miserable.
Some people like to hear that their troubles aren’t so bad, but I never want to be told that. I don’t think anyone who’s seriously about to kill themselves wants to hear it either. I dunno maybe it’s just me. I didn’t see the comments but I’ve heard them before. Sometimes people mean well but they don’t know what to say, so they say things like, it’s no big deal, other people have it worse, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, ect. Other times people are jerks and they think their pain is worse so they have to put people down. Either way I tune out.
There’s plenty of suffering to go around and no, it doesn’t have to be turned into a contest. Sometimes it is useful thought to try to flex that mental muscle of putting your problems into perspective and realizing that things could be worse. It’s not to belittle your problems or suggest they don’t exist, frankly it benefits nobody but the person suffering to try to remember that things aren’t completely bad. Lots of depressed people seem they would rather defend their depression and suffering and take offense at suggestions like “it could be worse”, rather than just trying to find whatever truth there might be in that statement.
The only reason I’ve come to appreciate “it could be worse” is because life always seems happy to make me suffer even more when it catches me not be grateful. If you think today was the worst day you could possibly have, life is happy to make something else happen next week that will have you looking back at a day like today and wishing you could just go back to when you thought you were miserable. Life is happy to show you how bad it can get. It is much easier for life to get worse than it is for it to get better. So to try to send the message to life “no thanks, I don’t need any more suffering”, I try to remind myself that it could be worse. It might have been a bad day, but nobody in my family died and nobody I care about got in a car accident, so I’m not going to tempt life.
There’s middle ground between the two extremes somewhere. No, the solution for every person with suffering is not to tell them “it could be worse”. But it also does help to try to remind yourself that. Otherwise you live in a reality where spilling your drink is as bad as your entire family being executed, if you refuse to try to put things in perspective sometimes.
People are quick to lash out at advice like that and act like it’s being said maliciously. I think most people who attempt to offer an opinion like “it could be worse” certainly don’t mean anything bad by it. Again, it doesn’t belittle or insult the initial problem, it simply reminds you to try to notice what few good things still exist before you lose those too. Classifying something or putting it in context is not belittling it. If you refuse to acknowledge that 5 is less than 10, that doesn’t really make them the same. People who want to get angry and say “no god damn it, do not tell me it could be worse”, well, it’s a shame that you refuse to employ any mental techniques that might help you lessen your own suffering just a tiny bit. Life will gladly bring you more pain and suffering until you’re finally willing to admit that there are worse things than what you are currently experiencing.
Neither side is 100% correct, and both sides would benefit from trying to understand. You shouldn’t always compare to others. You shouldn’t never compare to others. Sometimes a certain dose of perspective is helpful. It doesn’t matter to the person giving the advice either way; it’s not their life. You can try to put your suffering into perspective, or you can refuse to, but one might wonder why you’d choose the latter.
one thing that needs to be taken into account is that, many of depressed people, specially the younger ones who are also experiencing an identity crisis, tend to glorify their depression. that’s because it’s the only way the can define themselves. when you accept that many are suffering just as much as you do, you lose part of the identity you had defined yourself in.