I’m in the same position.
With life getting more bizzare, well i don’t think i wanna remaim here all that much longer.
I understand why people get sadder as they age, wishing for times gone by.
I’m close in age to you and i understand what you are feeling.
Yeah and it’s so weird to read about myself and 40 in the same sentence. Even 35. I don’t feel like 35. I feel much younger. I don’t get it. I don’t want to play the game of being old and serious. I still want to be a child sometimes. I still feel like I’m in my twenties, I don’t know, I can’t do this ageing thing.
And I have no idea who I am, I’m still searching.
But it’s like I have a freaking deadline. I need to figure it out until 40. What if I won’t?
And people isolate themselves into relationships after this age. And families. I’m alone…
Same here and thats the worst part.
Fuck the people i went to school with, have probably got kids getting ready for college.
I felt 20 years old for a long fucking time. Now my back is starting to ache everyday and im starting to notice some weird fucking shit happening to my body.
I know my mind isn’t as fast as it once was as well and i used to remember everything instantly.
Fuck, one minute i’m watching 80s cartoons, and now…..
I agree with everything here. It’s constantly thrown in my face with people being married and their damn babies. I don’t want that life. So what life is left? You’re looked at as the lonely weirdo. I fear being homeless in the future. I will definitely kill myself if that happens. I will fully commit to life one more time to see what happens, but I already know…I usually only get so far before I self-destruct again. Life is something I never got right and time is running out.
It’s comforting in a way to read about someone in a similar situation.
I’m sorry.
bnb30
This is one of the things i really hate (and fear a little) the most ‘You’re looked at as the lonely weirdo’
Especially when the media blasts all the propoganda at everyone.
“he was lonely” “a lone wolf” “had no friends” “spent all his time alone online” “was always seen walking alone with no company”
Hand me the vomit bucket please.
I think that when you’re in your 20s it’s viewed as normal, and you get the chance to meet people who are also non-attached but later is viewed as if there is something wrong with us.
In the same time I do need deep emotional connection and always thought that I can only get it from a relationship, but after 9 years being in one I felt suffocated…
I like going out, I just feel alone because I only see couples everywhere and it’s like a big sign saying “you’ve had your time, now it’s over”. Like, life wants me to change my way of living but I don’t. And it should be okay to be myself, and sometimes I get to this conclusion, but still I feel alone and hate it. I don’t want to lock myself in a relationship forever but I do want to still have the option to meet single people who I can talk to or even date, but it’s like I need to decide to “settle down” and I can’t because I don’t want to give up my young self…Sorry for the rambling.
Not sure if you are male or female, but for me, being a man, well it seems that we get viewed as either habitual sex offenders or potential terrorists.
Now that might be my mind going into overdrive, but it’s hard not to stop these thoughts.
Example. Go to the supermarket or shop whatever and look at the ‘womans magazines’
tell me if you can find a story about a man doing something nice for someone.
It’s always horrible stuff. I fucking hate it.
I know most woman don’t feel like that towards men, but i’m sure you can get where i’m coming from.
I’m a woman, but I think I get what you mean. It’s interesting to see the other perspective. Maybe this creates the fear in women that we are not safe and this is what I hate, going out alone and then being faced with situations where I feel powerless. But many times it’s not the other persons fault, it’s this paradigm that creates the roles we play.
Though I had an unpleasant experience yesterday when a drunk guy approached me in the park making some sexual gestures and I felt horrible and powerless. I wonder if this powerlessness is a learned one. Because there were people around so I was safe. Still I felt horrible. But I don’t want to generalise from this.
I feel ya.
hell, i feel uncomfortable walking behind a lone female.
I cross the road, or be very obvious about how i pass them, keeping the regualtion distance lol
I feel bad for woman who get these c****s who just won’t leave them alone.
Sometimes I think maybe the issue is that I haven’t really lived my life, I’ve always waited for something, like I’ve lived my life in this empty waiting room and was constantly planning for some living but this was not living. Or was it? Just a different kind. I don’t know. Are my thoughts the only issue why I’m unhappy? I believe people don’t understand me so I just have to give up this thought and will be happy?
My mind is killing me.
I wonder if I knew for sure that reincarnation works and I would be able to choose who I want to be in my next life, would I kill myself to start again and get my needs met, be a child again and be loved…
They say you should do here and now what you can, but I have do much fear and am so stuck in my dysfunctional ways that idk if I can do anything.
I hope to fuck that reincarnation isn’t real.
Having to do this once again…well no thanks.
Hope there is an option to pick “would you like to reincarnate”
Me hammering the ‘no’ option.
Well I definitely don’t want to go through this again, I’m not crazy. I mean not in that sense. The bullying, the emotional neglect and feeling alone, no thanks. But I would want to do it again in the sense that I would have what I didn’t have in this life. If this makes sense.
Fally i agree.
Too much deja vu i have experienced, makes me believe that life is already written, or i’ve done this before.
yeah this universe is too cruel like that.
God (if he exists) is laughing his ass off, i’m sure of it.
just imagine you have created beings whose whole stories are already written yet you play them in a way that they believe they actually have a choice. hilarious indeed.
21 comments
I had the same feeling about turning 30, it’s In less than 2 weeks. Trying to just ignore the feelings I’ve attached to the day.
If my life continues like this, I don’t know if it makes sense to continue after 40.
I’m in the same position.
With life getting more bizzare, well i don’t think i wanna remaim here all that much longer.
I understand why people get sadder as they age, wishing for times gone by.
I’m close in age to you and i understand what you are feeling.
Yeah and it’s so weird to read about myself and 40 in the same sentence. Even 35. I don’t feel like 35. I feel much younger. I don’t get it. I don’t want to play the game of being old and serious. I still want to be a child sometimes. I still feel like I’m in my twenties, I don’t know, I can’t do this ageing thing.
And I have no idea who I am, I’m still searching.
But it’s like I have a freaking deadline. I need to figure it out until 40. What if I won’t?
And people isolate themselves into relationships after this age. And families. I’m alone…
Same here and thats the worst part.
Fuck the people i went to school with, have probably got kids getting ready for college.
I felt 20 years old for a long fucking time. Now my back is starting to ache everyday and im starting to notice some weird fucking shit happening to my body.
I know my mind isn’t as fast as it once was as well and i used to remember everything instantly.
Fuck, one minute i’m watching 80s cartoons, and now…..
I agree with everything here. It’s constantly thrown in my face with people being married and their damn babies. I don’t want that life. So what life is left? You’re looked at as the lonely weirdo. I fear being homeless in the future. I will definitely kill myself if that happens. I will fully commit to life one more time to see what happens, but I already know…I usually only get so far before I self-destruct again. Life is something I never got right and time is running out.
It’s comforting in a way to read about someone in a similar situation.
I’m sorry.
bnb30
This is one of the things i really hate (and fear a little) the most ‘You’re looked at as the lonely weirdo’
Especially when the media blasts all the propoganda at everyone.
“he was lonely” “a lone wolf” “had no friends” “spent all his time alone online” “was always seen walking alone with no company”
Hand me the vomit bucket please.
I think that when you’re in your 20s it’s viewed as normal, and you get the chance to meet people who are also non-attached but later is viewed as if there is something wrong with us.
In the same time I do need deep emotional connection and always thought that I can only get it from a relationship, but after 9 years being in one I felt suffocated…
Definitly viewed as ‘less of a threat’ when you are younger, yeah.
That’s why i don’t like going out in the day too much tbh.
I like going out, I just feel alone because I only see couples everywhere and it’s like a big sign saying “you’ve had your time, now it’s over”. Like, life wants me to change my way of living but I don’t. And it should be okay to be myself, and sometimes I get to this conclusion, but still I feel alone and hate it. I don’t want to lock myself in a relationship forever but I do want to still have the option to meet single people who I can talk to or even date, but it’s like I need to decide to “settle down” and I can’t because I don’t want to give up my young self…Sorry for the rambling.
Not sure if you are male or female, but for me, being a man, well it seems that we get viewed as either habitual sex offenders or potential terrorists.
Now that might be my mind going into overdrive, but it’s hard not to stop these thoughts.
Example. Go to the supermarket or shop whatever and look at the ‘womans magazines’
tell me if you can find a story about a man doing something nice for someone.
It’s always horrible stuff. I fucking hate it.
I know most woman don’t feel like that towards men, but i’m sure you can get where i’m coming from.
I’m a woman, but I think I get what you mean. It’s interesting to see the other perspective. Maybe this creates the fear in women that we are not safe and this is what I hate, going out alone and then being faced with situations where I feel powerless. But many times it’s not the other persons fault, it’s this paradigm that creates the roles we play.
Though I had an unpleasant experience yesterday when a drunk guy approached me in the park making some sexual gestures and I felt horrible and powerless. I wonder if this powerlessness is a learned one. Because there were people around so I was safe. Still I felt horrible. But I don’t want to generalise from this.
I feel ya.
hell, i feel uncomfortable walking behind a lone female.
I cross the road, or be very obvious about how i pass them, keeping the regualtion distance lol
I feel bad for woman who get these c****s who just won’t leave them alone.
Sometimes I think maybe the issue is that I haven’t really lived my life, I’ve always waited for something, like I’ve lived my life in this empty waiting room and was constantly planning for some living but this was not living. Or was it? Just a different kind. I don’t know. Are my thoughts the only issue why I’m unhappy? I believe people don’t understand me so I just have to give up this thought and will be happy?
My mind is killing me.
I wonder if I knew for sure that reincarnation works and I would be able to choose who I want to be in my next life, would I kill myself to start again and get my needs met, be a child again and be loved…
They say you should do here and now what you can, but I have do much fear and am so stuck in my dysfunctional ways that idk if I can do anything.
I hope to fuck that reincarnation isn’t real.
Having to do this once again…well no thanks.
Hope there is an option to pick “would you like to reincarnate”
Me hammering the ‘no’ option.
Well I definitely don’t want to go through this again, I’m not crazy. I mean not in that sense. The bullying, the emotional neglect and feeling alone, no thanks. But I would want to do it again in the sense that I would have what I didn’t have in this life. If this makes sense.
I know right, I have this weird feeling that it’s real though. it goes pretty well with the cruel nature of this universe.
Fally i agree.
Too much deja vu i have experienced, makes me believe that life is already written, or i’ve done this before.
yeah this universe is too cruel like that.
God (if he exists) is laughing his ass off, i’m sure of it.
just imagine you have created beings whose whole stories are already written yet you play them in a way that they believe they actually have a choice. hilarious indeed.
I have felt that way at different times 15 18 25 30 and now 40 I don’t suppose it ever goes away until you do die