May 18th, 2017by nonserviam

i’m afraid of everything lately

i feel scared all the time

scared of falling apart, of breaking down in front of people that don’t know me like that

but i feel the need to fall apart too,

it drags me down, wears my bones and i get tired, tired, tired

i’m just so exhausted and whenever i say this,

no one seems to understand that i meant being tired of life

of everything.

i am so tired.

i feel so weak too, like i can collapse any given moment

and i feel it all the time

everyone keeps yelling at me

screaming about my grades, about my attitude, about my friends, about my habits

and whenever my lungs burn from the heavy smoke i inhale, the voices fade to a whisper in the back of my mind

and whenever my throat stings because of the alcohol, it seems to numb the pain

i feel like i can live again, but i keep slowly killing myself instead.

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