Goodbye

Here goes again…

Alright,

Let me restart our conversation from yesterday

[1] Welcome to the site
—
[2]
I bet u 9 to 1, your parents love you more than you can imagine
& I even bet that deep down, you know that

If that wasn’t true, u wouldn’t be waiting from them to leave the house
so you could run away or “leave this world” all together

u waited because u know that if they were around & saw u leave or try to hurt yourself
they would stop you, no matter what it takes

Could you maybe question yourself
why would they stop you if they didn’t love you?
—
[3]
You mention your weight / body size & a specific condition you’re currently having
as problems

I understand how this could be something that mean/uncaring/unkind/inconsiderate people could constantly point out & that this is not even close to being acceptable

but I think that the more important point to consider here is that
even without the unkind comments

This is something about yourself that you’r not pleased with
& you mention that you wish to change it

So let’s put all the people aside for now
& focus on you

I can not see how losing weight [& as a result, the termination of that condition you mentioned] would be something impossible or un achievable…

Do you see it as so? If yes, why?
—
[4]
If “stretch marks” are the only thing you’r worrying about, I assure you…
you’re gonna get them anyway…
whether or not you lose weight
even the thinnest kids get them as they grow up

You’re 13, that’s biology… that’s the way your body grows
you just wait till you’r 16, 17 , 18
There will be stretch marks all over
your body & the bodies of everyone your age

An additional piece of information… “these marks fade out with time”
by the time you’r 23 [that’s 10 years from now]
you won’t even remember you ever had stretch marks
[unless you have some really good memory]

So, having said that, I can’t see how “stretch marks” would stop you from regular exercise to lose weight…

if they’re gonna be there any way,
I say you have one more reason to start exercising & losing weight
while those marks still haven’t naturally started appearing
—

[5]
Now let’s get back to people
As the amazing anne33 quoted yesterday
& I quote from her
“you also have fingernails. do you call yourself fingernail?”

I do firmly believe that your
weight / body size / skin color / hair color / anything else that has to do with appearance
in addition to your
money / wealth / property / things you own / power / authority / connections/ popularity / friends / girlfriend[s] / wife …

All these things
/
Any one of these things

Does Not Define You

None of them do

& As a first step, I say do not define yourself by any of these things

define yourself by your actions… what you do & say

I believe that this is the true identity / definition of any human being

Can you adopt this point of view & apply it?

—

[6]

[a]

As I said above, again,
I believe that
having or not having a girlfriend does not
in any way
define you

Does it mean that someone cares… perhaps

but as I said in point [2]… ur parents care too
& I may add that many people here do care as well
including myself
& as proof,
I wouldn’t be writing all this to you if I didn’t…

Having said all that,
the question now is,
do you still think getting a girlfriend is the only way for you to see that you are cared for? If yes, could you please explain to me, why the things I said above don’t work for you / are not enough?
Because if they’re not enough, I seriously doubt ,that getting a girlfriend would be enough either? You’re only imaging it…

I think that what you really need is to care for yourself first
& if you wish to know… I could tell you why & how…
but I’d say you need to think about this for a while before we could productively talk

Do you feel you care enough about yourself?
Can you imagine yourself as a separate person
[as if looking in the mirror]
& from your heart say that you do care about this person [which is you] ?
–
[b]

Having / Not having a girlfriend
does not say anything about you being a worthy or not-worthy person
[at least that’s MY point of view]
& the fact that your friend
or even all your friends
have / had girlfriends since grade 8
or even since they were babies

doesn’t make “Having a Girlfriend”
any more or less important to you

I’d say you need to give less value
to what people think & say
“People” are not always right

there will come a time when
most or even “all” of your friends
will be heavily drinking & smoking & living a very unhealthy life
taking up some really bad habits

I think
you need to take to heart
from now on & at that early age
that there’s no obligation
& even no sense
in blindly liking, following & taking part in everything that
your friends / peers / colleagues / people do

I think you need to try to learn to be calm & patient
& to logically study that “thing”
that everyone around you seem to be so excited about

I think you need to question yourself
is that “thing” really good/ beneficial to me?
& if it is

Do I really need it?
Do I need it now?
Am I ready for it?

I’d personally say
& I once said that to someone around your age with a similar problem

that I think you have a great chance
to experience so many years ahead of you
without the complications of relationships & “love”
or the sadness & hurt of “heartbreak”
because unfortunately that’s possible too…

I say take that time to focus on, know, discover, explore, develop and most importantly love & care for yourself…
rather than divide your attention on you & someone else with the risk of not being able to take care of either of you…

Does that make sense to you?
—

[7]
Finally people, bullying & hurtful comments,

I have so much to tell you about this
but I think it would be more productive if you read my response
to a post written by a very kind girl who had similar problems to yours

search the site for “My Story”
by Gasping for Air

Kindly read my response
[& take your time because it’s really really long]
& then we could talk if you have any questions

—
[8]
Reasons to “Stay” + “Alive” :

[a] A fraction of Reasons to stay Alive:
1]
You can do so much good [to urself & to other people] in each and every passing day in ur life & u’ll find some examples in the post I mentioned above
2]
You could be destined to save someone’s life
3]
You could be destined to discover / invent something that could benefit humanity
4]
You could have a regular job or be a [so called [I don’t agree with that label] “normal” person & still do good / benefit society even if at avery small scale…
for one individual, i say that counts as making a real positive difference in the world
5]
You could be destined to someday be a father & even a grandfather
you’ll then have a chance to make yourself “a good father” & “a good grandfather”
6]
So many other things & possibilities

[b] A fraction of Reasons to Stay at home & not run away
1]
I believe that you are most protected & most cared for at home
regardless of how much it feels like hell…
I can assure you, no one will ever love or care for you more than your parents, & your mother would take first place…

2]
Home is currently the safest place available for you to be able to go through your future…
it’s somewhere you can study, sleep, eat, store clothes, own a computer/other things
without worrying that all this could be so easily stolen / forcefully taken from you by some violent stranger…
It’s ur headquarters
Ur base camp

3]
Running away / hurting yourself would hurt your parents in a way you can not even begin to imagine…
no matter how much you THINK they don’t care…

& I’m sure that no matter how angry you could possibly get at them…
today or any other day

I’m sure that you have enough kindness, mercy & compassion in your heart
to not allow yourself to cause them that much pain, sadness & hurt…

& if for any reason you don’t feel that
at least consider the logic that

These 2 people hold in their heart nothing but love
they cared for you as a baby when you were absolutely powerless
they fed you & dressed you & taught you things & spent [what could be a fortune] on you

not for 1 year
not for 2 years
but for 13 consecutive years…
maybe even completely on their own
they might have not gotten any help from anyone
I end by asking

Is it logical that you hurt these 2 people?

—

P.S.
I really tried hard,
but I still can’t figure out,
how could the “end of school year” be a problem to you?
?

—

tc
& I guess after all that
it goes without saying
that I care for you
& it would really hurt & sadden me if you runaway
or hurt yourself in any way

& I think you can see clearly that I’m not alone in this
it seems to be a common feeling on this page

I’m here if you, at any time, need to talk…

Kindest Regards