Every night for the last week I have not been able to sleep at night. Mind racing and emotions running crazy. Each night I have been on the phone with two and three different crises lines. Just barely holding on. So yesterday I dipped in to my supply of old psych meds. Today I went to group high as hell. Therapist thought I was going through a med change. Yeah sure.
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Yes, an unofficial med change. :p
If you are supposed to take meds now, something sure isn’t working.
I saw a Dr in February, but the meds made me sick. So I stopped taking them and haven’t bothered to make a new appointment. I am tired of feeling like I am a lab rat.
Nobody wants to feel like an experiment for whatever the new med is this month…but if you can’t sleep and you have racing thoughts, you probably don’t have a multitude of options. Sure, you could try sleep hygiene stuff, or meditation for the thought patterns, but you aren’t going to get much out of group if you’re taking too much of old meds…
You sound like a rebel! 😉
I have been on and off meds over the last 25 years. I have tried over a dozen different sleep meds. My body quickly overrides the meds effect. So, yeah, I have become a rebel who just quits whenever I want to.
Do the crisis lines and therapy help at all? I’m asking because I went to therapy and called a few crisis lines and had an experience like yours (they didn’t do crap) so I quit but people keep telling me I didn’t give it enough time. I knew after 1 session and 1 phone call but I went to a total of 5 or 6 sessions and around that many calls. But it didn’t do anything. How long have you been in therapy and do you plan to keep going if it doesn’t change?
I have been in and out of therapy for over 25 years. Some therapists have been helpful, some were emotionally damaging/abusive themselves. One totally destroyed my sense of self and emotionally crippled me. She had been in practice for 30 years.
Crises lines vary. There have been people on the end of the phone who just pushed me over the edge. But then there are days like Sunday in the wee hours of the morning when a guy stayed on the phone with me for two hours over the course of three calls.
The hard thing for me is that my local crises call center is linked with my counseling center database. Got a call from the counseling center today because I called the local number numerous times and they enter notes with summaries of the conversation into your permanent file. Won’t be calling them again. Unless I do want them to pick me up and take me out to a hospital – they do site visits.