I have lost all my mentors.

Not one is left. I don’t know where to go from here. My dad has unconsciously made this household anti-social. All my brothers refuse to talk with one another all because my father couldn’t let go of his anger. I’m the only one who has escaped his tight manipulative grip over my mind. He holds me and my brothers back from our true potential more than anyone else. In his anger he has made his sons afraid of him. This is the truth. I am afraid of my father. His anger towards me shakes my world unlike any earthquake. That is why I must leave him. I notice I am at complete peace naturally when I’m not around him but when I’m around him its like I’m walking in a mine field. I feel frozen in fear that I might make him angry everyday. Its hard to believe it but when I would look at other kids and their parents they didn’t seem to have such a tense relationship with one another. My father would slap me in the face, kick me, pull my ears, scream in my face, scratch me, curse at me almost daily, throw me, etc. As a kid I thought this was normal but I have grown wiser and seen the contrary. I have seen happy loving families. My family is nothing like a loving one. He has issues but he refuses to admit this. When someone tells him that he needs help he gets furious. I’m tired of trying to understand him and I’m especially tired of being his punching bag on bad days. I don’t care if he’s my father, he’s an abusive one. I’ve had enough of him. I don’t care about his money. I’ll live with mom at the apartment and pay rent instead. I’m 20yrs old for gods sake. He won’t be able to be this way once I move in with mom. I don’t mind rules but I won’t let people abuse me anymore.