I’m 17 and not allowed to do anything. My mom won’t teach me how to drive because she’s afraid i’m going to go out and do things or something. I dress very lame compared to my younger brother who is up to date with trends and i barely shop because my mom wants me to spend my own money on things. I barely have money because i dont have a job and i don’t get a bit of allowance anymore. I’m cooped up in the house because i was not allowed to go to parties because she didn’t know the parents and i didn’t have responsible friends to go with me. Everywhere I go is with my mom.
I don’t have boyfriends because i’m awkward and lame so any guy that is attracted to me gets bored of me and tries to use me for sex. Eventually they leave me for an actual relationship with another girl. I’m annoying and not that smart so i sound slow and really easy. I was molested several times at 8 through 9 by my step father and it messed me up. I started having suicide thoughts and dreams around 11 and at 13 i started self harm. At age 15, i tried suicide 2 or 3 times which messed up my whole GPA. Boys still wanted sex from me but i didn’t do anything but i did entertain them. Even though one boy called me “one of his hoes” infront of the class and i cussed him out for it, i still came back to talk to him because my classmates are so conceited and not friendly. Recently i started to give in because this is my junior year and nobody clearly wants me that much and i’m already embarrassed to walk these halls. I started doing as some boys asked and showed my boobs to them, and these were guys that i can trust, not some random boy.
Last night I was playing truth or dare with my guy friend and he dared me to take my shirt off and i dared him to do something silly like running around the room butt ass naked. My mom was listening to me on the other side of my room door. As soon as we hung up, my mom came in and told me. This, being at 2 am, was all kinds of awkward.
I didn’t cry because it’s not like she could think any less of me. If she did, what would change in my life honestly. She said she’s going to tell my dad (and then probably the rest of my family). My life sucks and i don’t know what to do anymore.
8 comments
Wow. There’s so much going on here that idk where to begin.
First off, is your “dad” whom your mother is going to inform, the same man who abused you?! If so, does your mother know?!
Secondly, I’m 25, and although that may potentially sound a bit old to you now, I was in HS not that long ago going through something similar with school boys and sexuality. I was talked about by the whole school for the three years that I was there after two boys whom I was kind of dating at the time, went and told their classmates that I had sex with them in grade nine. My next three years were hell until I switched schools for final year after moving out of my parents’ house. The truth is, looking back, I was VERY naive and wished someone older than me (my sis or even my mother) and spoken to me about boys and the way they are. I am here to tell you that there is NO teenage boy whom you can trust with this! You say you trust them, but they are all untrustworthy! You are a game to them and if they haven’t already told their friends, they will!
Thirdly, have you applied to colleges yet? If so, make sure you move out and live on campus so you can get away from your controlling mother and make actual friends and hangout with them. If you’re not going to college right away, find a job that you like and move out and rent a room in a house or apt with roomates.
My step father is the one who did it but my biological father is the one she’s going to inform. My biological dad, who doesn’t live with me and lives in a different state, has anger issues and if he finds out about this he will cut me out of his life for sure.
I understand. I just struggle with how I feel about myself. I don’t think anybody likes me and even my friends have taken advantage of me and tell my business. I’m very naive but i don’t think sex with make boys like me. I guess i’m just in the moment and fed up of being boring.
I actually don’t know about college looking at my GPA which is a 2.5 and the fact that i didn’t play sports to get a scholarship.
I’m sorry this is a lot but i’m really just trying to figure out how to cope. I have around 8 months left in this house because i turn 18 in January next year and my mom wants to kick me out ASAP.
By the way, thank u so much for ur response 🙂
If your mom is going to kick you out, then that’s all the more reason to apply to college and look for a part-time job. Now! Move out with roomates. Don’t worry, there are colleges that only require a 60% average minimum to get in. And you’re welcome 🙂
Your mom is a twat. No doubt a well meaning twat, but still a twat. You can’t raise functional children if they are under your thumb all the time. Kids gotta go outside, eat dirt, fall down, and catch lightning bugs in jars.
Quit trying to please guys. The good ones will stick around and talk to you without clothing removal. Every time a guy asks to see your tits you should sigh and mark them off the list of people that are worth talking to. It *is* that simple.
The fact that your mom is trying to terrorize you over NORMAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR shows how out of touch she is. Get to college, preferably out of town. You’ll learn about all the great things you’ve been missing in life once you are out on your own.
Good luck!
Haha thanks :). I don’t really know how to do things on my own even though i wanted to learn. It’s probably going to be a mess if anything goes wrong when i’m out on my own. I do hope i make it
You can do it! Yeah, it will be scary. Yeah, you will fuck up. So what? Have friends you can lean on. Some of your relatives may not be total assholes. Regardless of your GPA, a two year college is probably attainable, maybe even for free depending upon which state you live in.
Start small, work your way up. There are a ton of old fuckers like me that are busy dying so nursing is always a good field to start in.
Stay un-pregnant and you can have a PhD by the time you are 30. Or start your own business, but learn basic bookkeeping first.
And one day you’ll meet a guy that doesn’t ask to see your tits but you will want to show them to him anyway. If his eyes pop out and he applauds then maybe you two, together, can work out a relationship based on mutual support, respect, and love.
I had this situation with guys. They will only use me for sex, but don’t be fooled by them having an actual relationship with another girl. Sometimes, it started off as a hook-up, but because the sex was great, the guy stayed around. These relationships don’t last because sex is not the stable of a good relationship. The guy can also be pretending to be this girl’s boyfriend just to get sex, maybe he wants something else from her. There’s more than meets the eye.
I too gave in to men’s pressure. I began to believe that maybe I was just a sex object, but that’s what men want you to think. They will degrade you, until you have no self-respect, then blame you for giving in. It’s really a no win situation. Best advice I received was don’t play the game.
I did my research on why men were treating me like me, and I discovered that I needed to develop healthy boundaries. If you don’t have good boundaries, then you are sending a message to them that you can’t get anyone better, or you’re insecure, thus making you an easy target. A guy who doesn’t respect your boundaries, plays mind games, or just wants to have sex with you is not worth your time, so quickly cut them off. This also helps the guy because you’re not leading him on, and wasting his time.
Sadly, I can’t promise that men will mature and like you for who you are. I did receive this unwanted attention from men in their forties and older as well. Don’t be fooled with forming friendships with guys. Those guys that you’re friends with now, when you stop showing your tits to them, chances are they’ll be gone. I also read that guys actually don’t want to be friends with girls. It’s usually an attempt to get something from you. Google it.
What do I know? I’m not sociable, so I can do without the unwanted attention from guys. Hope I helped. For your mom, if she’s overprotective, then try to be sneaky about the things you do. Start off small, then slowly you’ll gain your freedom for her.