Nobody wants to stick around me for very long and no it’s not because I’m the smelly person or something physical like that. I honestly don’t understand why everyone wants to exit my life so bad? I don’t mean death either. I mean they choose to leave me and never speak to me again. For what reason though? I think I’ve honestly lost more friends in the short life I’ve already lived than someone whose in their 60s or 70s. I also can’t even get a boyfriend who loves me. The first beat me because everything I did was wrong and maybe that’s what it is… I’m just wrong in everything maybe I should of stayed with him and I’d be better now? More loveable? The boyfriend I have now I have to beg him to spend time with and to compliment me… I don’t think that’s how a relationship is suppose to be. Is it? Maybe I’m dumb and everything I’ve ever known about relationships is invalid I’m really not sure. I want to just fade away. I hate myself now. I don’t want to exist. I’ll never be good enough apparently. I should of realized that years ago … I think about ending it but I also have so much hope deep down inside me that my boyfriend will actually act like a boyfriend. I’m so dumb and I hope to much….
3 comments
Lady, I doubt that those men you were with were boyfriends. The first one was a abuser, and second isn’t that into you. Well, they both weren’t that into you. You don’t need men to prove your worth. Trying to get men to truly love women like trying to put out a fire with more fire. It doesn’t work. I wish there was something I could do for women who were hurt so badly by men, or the for the nice women that men do not care about. Men are heartless pig beasts who lack a soul that is why they feel no remorse for the wrong doings they do. Go your own way. Find individual happiness else where because if you look for it in men, you will be very very disappointed.
Bluediamond can’t agree more with you. Each word written by you is as if god has said it. Iwantmore don’t beg for anything just click leave! This is making holes in your life that are for now invisible but when they’ll be visible you can’t take it. I can’t relate more to this post. They all want to exit my life so bad too. Do you know it’s a trend ? Noone stays in anyone’s life for too long unless the leaving person is somewhere from around the 1970s era when people still had real hearts. When they cried, people actually left their lives to listen. The substance is missing now. Years back reality had its place today everyone is popping pills for mental diseases whether it be temporary depression due to some loss and everyone is pondering over the same thing like they’re in a big pit of blackness and only have the option to do bad to others. Sometimes when you see people, they’ll choose bad over good. Because they can ! It’s an epidemic.
There is a solid reason why rich and influential people leave civilisation and move to confinement. They realise that they’re not going to get what they want in this civilisation. We’ve lost our value. Porn has made us insensitive, terror has made us doubtful, schools have made us worse citizens, love has frightened us, News has left us with an unbalanced life, it’s all for money.
There’s a different lifestyle we need to take up in order to survive in this universal downfall.
I just found your page, I hope you’re ok. You haven’t posted in like a year. I was recently cheated on too. He lied to me for 6 months about it, I’m still with him though. I love him so much, but when he told me I almost did something to myself I wouldn’t have been able to take back. I just hope you didn’t do the same thing. God, I hope you’re ok. I know I don’t know you, but I can feel every ounce of the pain in your words, because I’ve felt it too. If you ever come back, I hope you see this and reach out to me, I notice you never comment back. Please don’t hesitate to do so with me.