Here we go again. I’m left alone in my bed, with nothing but the sound of my fan and my laptop. My boyfriend went to bed, after the horrible day he had. Today was the first time I realized I’m depressed…..again. Only God knows why I was given clinical depression at the age of 15, with severe anxiety to top it off. I have no friends (besides my honey), and the only will to live I have is my religion. I’m losing that will. My religion takes about a great afterlife, and I have never wanted to go more than I do now. Since my prayers are being answered out of my favour, I feel like I should end myself. I’m just a f*ck up, and I will never be anything more than that. My therapist picks things out of what I tell her, and deals with stupid thoughts I have, COMPLETELY dodging my depression. Well, I hope she’s proud, because I’ve hit the bottom. I’ve dug myself so deep, only meds will be able to get me out. But if I tell my therapist that I need meds, she’ll say, “Give it a few months.”
Yep. A few months of more emotional pain and scarring. Thanks.
1 comment
> A few months of more emotional pain and scarring.
You said a mouthful. The longer we’re stuck in this hell, the more damage is done. I feel really bad for you because at age 15 your brain hasn’t finished developing (I think studies show it stops mid 20s) so damage and trauma can cause bad things. But then, I’m against meds on young people for the same reason, some of these pills can screw you up worse. Maybe that’s why your therapist is dragging. I guess all you can do is keep hammering how bad things are, getting worse, maybe your therapist will at least try something different. “Giving it a few months” is unacceptable. Wouldn’t it be funny if they said that in the emergency room. The threat of death is just as real