Men/Women: Sex/Money and The Blame Game

May 18th, 2017by SweetQuietus

“Men are only interested in sex”
“Women are gold diggers, interested in men for their money”
“Men think with their d1ck5”
“Women are b1tche5 and s1uts”
“Men are heartless pr1ck5”
“Women are too emotional”

And you wonder why you’re lonely?

It’s your attitude toward the opposite sex which makes you unattractive. You feel objectified but you’re the one making the sexist statements. And while it may be true that some of them are acting like as5holes, it isn’t everyone, and it doesn’t justify you spewing hate: you’re the one who’s poisoning your chances for a lasting, meaningful relationship.

It’s no one’s responsibility to provide you with happiness, to complete you, to give your life meaning, to support you financially or emotionally; no one is obligated to dedicate their entire life to making you feel good about yourself. No one owes you a fucking thing–not love, not a living, not children, not a house, not a car, not advice, not companionship, not friendship, not sex, not even a comment on your SP posts.

When you view the opposite sex as a means to an end, you are not only objectifying them, but yourself as well. It dehumanizes everyone; likewise when someone attempts to do the same to you: if you let them.

Listen, some people DO believe in contractual, value-to-value relationships, with “if you do this, then I do that” kinda thing. Nothing wrong with that, if that’s your thing. It works for a lot of people, but that’s not what I see people longing for, for the most part. I see people wanting to genuinely connect with a genuine other, enabling them to express their genuine selves, genuinely.

Yes, men can be dangerous, violent, soulless creatures, who utterly lack compassion. Rapists of children of women and of each other, senselessly violent, putrid, vile. And yet, that is not all of Mankind. Man has the ability to learn and build upon generations of discovery. We taught ourselves to FLY in myriad ways! We can journey across thousands of miles by rail, or air, or sea: fast or slow. We’ve discovered microcosms invisible to the eye and peered far into the darkness to discover galaxies and all sorts of anomalies in space and in the depths of the ocean. Man has built empires and all sorts of enterprises.

Do we have to be careful? Yes, both men and women can be users and predators. Use your head. Don’t listen to words, watch actions. How do they look at you? Talking to you or your cleavage? Notice how they view others. How do they talk about men? women? self? other? Are they making you promises from the moment you meet them? Don’t buy it. Are they staring you down? Avoid them. Seem unduly nervous (I don’t mean shy and nervous, I mean fidgety and creepy). I don’t frequent bars, but if that’s your choice, then be smart about it, especially if you’re going alone or meeting a stranger: let someone know where you are, (even better to have a buddy in the bar), GPS active on your phone, never put your drink down and if you do, get a “fresh” one. Don’t trust someone until they earn it, but don’t dismiss everyone as untrustworthy: build trust slowly, not blindly, not hopefully. Learn self defense. Don’t allow yourself to be a victim, but if you are (kudos to you for surviving!), don’t perpetuate a victim mentality. Forgive yourself. Forgive the asshole, not for being an asshole, but so you can move on.

Not all men are evil, violent, women-hating pricks.
Not all women are in your pockets looking for money.

I think that I like people. I really like how we can view the same phenomena in wildly different ways, drawing various conclusions. I love people’s -isms and -ities: what makes them unique. It’s in the eyes, in the actions, in the choices made (and not made). People are worth knowing, regardless of whether we share common heritage or are in the same socio-economic group or not. Viewpoints, talents, reliability, compassion, humor, accomplishers, idealists, hopers, pragmatisits, thinkers, innovators, entertainers, listeners, fun-makers, adventurers, meditators: we all bring something to the table, even if it is suicidal sensitivity.

Here’s the reality as I see it: we fill our minds with images of hatred and sexual violence in the guise of “entertainment”. NCIS: Special Victims Unit. WTH? We decry sexual slavery on the new and glorify it on television shows. We portray men and women in the worst possible light and we come to expect thos standards to be truths of ourselves and others. No one will love me unless because I’m not____ or i’m too ____. Men/Women are just _____.

Find your own worth. Find worth in others. People are worth knowing (mostly), including you!

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