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Yeah. . . Isn’t that a lovely and easy place to be. The frustrating middle ground of indecision and doubt. It is well populated.

I don’t usually make references to tv or films, but a few days ago was watching a rerun of M*A*S*H, and a soldier was trying to kill himself. The colonel found him and stopped him after a brief struggle during which the colonel tried to force the soldier to complete the act. The soldier resisted and ultimately gave up. As the colonel was walking him to his bed, he said “The part of you that wants to live is still stronger than the part that wants to die.” That’s what we struggle with, two opposing forces battling for our life, and it’s enough to make you want to – well, you know.
Every minute of every day can be a torturous nightmare of grief, then hope, and there are so many who are blessedly unaware of what you and others are struggling with. Hang in there with the rest of us middle grounders.