It’s seems almost every second now of every day is filled with the feeling of paranoia. I don’t want anyone to know what I’m up to, because I’m determined to finish it. I feel like my dad created a fake account on here and is gathering evidence that he can use against me or to commit me to a hospital. WHY do I feel this way?
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I think the question is that why do you look at your father’s concern this way? as if he’s conspiring against you?
I guess I just don’t like the idea of anyone getting in my way basically. He would of course be trying to save me, but I don’t want to be saved.
eventhough u know that if he actually is doing that, then it’s because he loves u…
very much
?
u wrote before, wondering how is it possible that he did not care if his baby girl is suicidal…
maybe now we can say that he actually does care…
what do u think?
I totally understand this feeling Suicideisnotachoice, I too wouldn’t want to be saved and I consider myself pretty determined to do it as well. the difference is that no one is going to try to save me. no one also seems to even notice that I barely even leave my room for days. point being; realize that you are in his heart. though ,acting on your suicidal thoughts should still be your choice and yours alone.
remember that that’s the best he knows even though this is not what you want.
@fally very well said…
& by the way,
I’d try
if only u’d let me…
I wish nothing but the best to both of you…
Thanks dear Farah, I’ll probably share my story some time. but the guilt I carry can not be healed.
for now, I think it’s better to focus on Suicideisnotachoice. 🙂
🙂
will do
Maybe take a break until the paranoia goes away and you can think more clearly? I know that type of paranoia, if you’re not careful, it will spiral you down deeper. Don’t entertain it in your mind. Try to focus your attention on something else. Taking a break from sites helps.
Maybe it could be comforting to think your dad cares about you enough to stalk you on this site. Sure it’s creepy also. You could always make a new account and be sure to delete your browsing history and cookies so he won’t know who you are.
I get this post so well. I’m not gonna frustate you by dragging your father into if he wants to save you or not. I myself suffer from this illness called paranoia and it’s scary atleast now world has started acknowledging it I’ve had it since there was no trace of the name. Know that you best know that your father’s got nothing to do with this site…. I know that you have too many fears and the one related to the father was one of them and you decided to post it… all those fears needs to be written down… accepted… breathed upon…. whatever exists in front of your eyes is real.. and your thoughts are lies upon lies they have very low probability to come true. Things are not as scary as we make it look in our minds. Everything passes. Get the handles of your mind under YOUR control. No one has ever saved anyone if the person didn’t really want to be saved so you’re free. Paranoia is a spidernet and it feeds off your molecular thought processes and turn them giant like. Read about your disorder and tips to control it.
I thought about it and he’s absolutely right, listen to Forevertorn.
minor correction
[ & I think Forevertorn has to confirm that because I’m not 100% sure]
“she’s” absolutely right
🙂
[but again, I’m not sure]
Farahlajeen Doesn’t matter. You can call me a he. It’s nothing personal for me I believe in a genderless soul. Thank you fally for supporting my views.
@Forevertorn
I think that’s beautiful 🙂
I hope u are well
[& by the weay, my offer still stands… I’m here if you ever wish to talk & I’m willing to help in any way I can… tc ]