It makes me sad that I can’t stand being around my own family often. I can’t stand their negativity. They’re never in a good mood. They say I’m just being super sensitive and maybe I am but anyone else would be able to feel their negative vibes. I run away from them often. Anytime I sense a negative situation unfolding I run away from them. I often just go on long drives to get away from it all but its expensive after a while. I believe each one of my family members have some deep insecurities that they don’t want to deal with so they resort to the fight or flight scenario in which they all seem to choose the fight option. Very different from what I did whenever I got insecure. So this results in them looking very mean, mad and ugly. They start acting really tense and they snap at me whenever I try to lighten the mood. I got over my social anxiety but hanging around with my family is just so exhausting. I don’t understand why its so hard for them to relax. I had issues too but I got over them because I admitted to myself and everyone around me that I had SA. That’s the first step to recovery and its seems like they just can’t do it. Should I feel guilty for not wanting to be around them?
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You might consider googling false guilt. This helped me more than I imagined it would.
Too lazy. Please elucidate.
Just a broad brush here. Healthy guilt happens when we violate our own values. False guilt occurs when we haven’t and still feel guilty. In this case it may track back to someone we are impossibly trying to please. Go forth and google!
Why, when you’re both efficient and succinct? Thanks ’57.
🙂
Thanks a1957. Seems so simple but Like you said, I think it helped more than I thought it would. I’m glad I popped on sp and saw this
No. You shouldnt. Because “family”, what is thought of by many as the most-sacred-of-most-sacred, is involved doesn’t mean a hill of beans. One reason I now live halfway across the country from mine is the dynamic that exists between us. Dysfunction at a maddening level. No details, just blood is supposed to be thicker than water dark insane circus of chaos and insanity. Take every chance you can to step away. Acknowledge that, like my family, they are not necessarily bad people, but the transformation from individuals to family is just not good. I know all the cliches, know that I’m supposed to value and cherish family, but doing so for me is impossible, and I’ve accepted that I will be scorned, criticized and judged for leaving them behind but I simply will no longer suffering the ill effects of our brand of dysfunction.
Yeah, don’t feel guilty. If they’re bringing you down, you don’t need to stick by them just because they are “family”.
My family annoys the shit outta me so I stay away sometimes. It’s Mother’s Day. I got my granny and mom flowers and they’re all out there, but I choose to stay away because I do not want to be bothered. My mom gets on my nerves. I just don’t like her most of the time. Not to mention her obnoxious fiancé.
if its family give them 100 chances, for after all its the same blood that is in u and them.
we all have problems 4 real!
tell them that what they say hurts you, and if they are real family they will stop.
u dont need hate against them, real family sticks together and helps one an other.
let your feelings be known!