Tired of Who I Am

[ I am tired of being the fucking one in the family who everyone has “given up all hope for.” ]

Sounds like you’re the Target Patient in a dysfunctional family. I’m that in mine, too. It sucks so bad. That feels like a pathetic understatement, actually. I don’t even have words for how horrible it is to grow up and live one’s entire life as the scapegoat for family dysfunction. In reality it means you’re probably the most “normal” one, but that’s from a clinical, psychological research point of view, not a living-it-every-day view so it’s probably not much comfort.