I have this strong feeling that I will always be different from everyone else no matter how hard I try to be the same. I imagine, there’s like this huge rift between me and others. Like, I can see all the people, I can copy them, I can shout to them – communicate… but I’ll never be one of them. There’s just this inexplicable disconnect for me and no one believes it exists (am I too similar a copycat? I appear to be in it all but there’s always just something off…) but I’ve brought it down to I’m either just far too sensitive and overthinking, or I’m just crazy. I will never feel like I’m real or I can do it.
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I can understand and relate to this.
“Like, I can see all the people, I can copy them, I can shout to them – communicate… but I’ll never be one of them. ”
Yeah. I can copy them. Do what they do, but it’s just an act. I get that, completely. I once doodled a picture of a man chained to the ground, while not far away was a throng of people celebrating, being happy. No matter how hard the man struggled, he couldn’t break the chain to join the celebration. He wanted (wants) to, but it just wouldn’t (won’t ever) happen.
I get this post.
I’m glad you totally understand this because sometimes it’s just so awful to feel like this… your drawing sounds like el condor pasa (if I could) by Simon and garfunkel, “a man get tied up to the ground, he gives the world its saddest sound…” man life can be crap but at least putting it into words can help and seeing other feelings like it
Maybe being different can make a difference, call awake our sleeping sensitivities.
Yeah that’s true… but it’s just not pleasant to feel so different and so sensitive
SO TRUE