And I am pretty scared lol I mean it’s natural right? Like what if this and what if that. I have OCD too so that doesn’t help with the doubt I feel about it all creating scenarios in my head of the day over and over just obsessing over the uncertainty. Fuck….it’s really going down…literally and figuratively. I still need to buy the Jameson (liquid courage) put in a Gatorade water bottle so incognito while I have it on the bridge looking like a jogger. Besides that it’s just get in the car and go. The car ride is going to suck because I’m just going to be over thinking I know it but I’ll get there eventually. I don’t even feel suicidal anymore, no emotions actually, but I just know there’s no other way out of this cycle of misery. I don’t have enough intellect to get out of the cycle, I’m just mindlessly going through day to day 23 year old no group of friends no job no sense of self and the worst, a coward. The burden of me will be lifted.
To those who’ve set a date or have set a date in the past I mean man what was it like for you?
17 comments
I haven’t seriously set a date, but I have attempted suicide in the past.
I think your time would be more productively spent trying to solve your problems, and that starts with admitting your doubt (as you did), and asking for help. Then it’s about making sure the help works, and otherwise asking for new help.
It’s a proven scientific fact that men who try to go it alone have worse mental health. And mental health is tied to physical health. So you can do a lot for yourself simply by reaching out, getting out of your own head, and things like getting your sleep, eating healthily, and exercising.
The problem with being depressed is that it makes you not think straight, and you’re often unaware of it yourself. It’s similar to the way sleep deprivation negatively impacts people’s performance on a number of tasks, but they don’t notice it themselves, because of the sleep deprivation.
So that kind of cycle between pessimism and then having your pessimism confirmed needs to be broken. One way to start doing that is an exercise called “three good things”. Google it.
Can’t solve my problems, even if I did I still wouldn’t know what to do with myself. There is nothing in this world that I want, no goals, fuck achievements, family, friends, everything is hollow and numb. The doubt isn’t whether I want to live or die, I always wanted to die, it’s whether I can jump when the time comes, I’m scared to heights and water.
There are other ways if your afriad of those that you mentioned.
If jumoing from a bridge into water depending on height u will likely break bones and then drown. Or be rescued.
Just saying. Not trying to change your mind as I would not spmeone trying to do that for me.
I’m leaving no matter what.
Just make sure you have all the logistics correct before taking the plunge. Pardon the pun.
Everything you say is textbook depression.
I feel at peace now knowing the date. The fact I have my method in place and it all comes down to that moment.
Taking care to have it all planned so as not to fuck up.
I feel emotionaless and its odd but not without a sense of relief. Knowthing that soon its one and done. No more of this mess called life. Or ppl that say they love you and then treat you with disrespect so deep you are just like …so this is humans and this is life?!
Fuck all that shit.
I had a date, I attempted and failed. As @Louisbowdrie has already stated, make sure if you do go through with your plan that it will kill you. If not you’ll have to suffer the physical consequences, but will also be sent to a mental ward. It also gets all billed to you which is not a picnic. The other thing is your body will try everything possible to survive so make sure if you are serious to make it fatal.
I’m jumping off the god damn George Washington Bridge if that doesn’t do it then okay a train it is.
Just make sure the water is having a calm night. If the water is breaking it means surface tension will not be as taught and render it less effective/ ineffective…well as to what you want that is.
But that ought to do it.
Wish you luck and courage.
And I hope we all find the peace we seek.
You too, if you’re able to talk about it, what’s your exit?
Industrial argon.
How did you acquire argon gas?
Welding supply just told them what I was looking for also asked if they had a flow meter/regulator I could buy or rent.
No questioned asked.
One thing about argon since its heavier than air its possible to lay down with it as ******** you need to be sitting.
This is not directed at anyone and it’s definitely not a “challenge” but I’ve noticed that people who set a date for suicide usually fail or don’t go through with it. I should know because it happened to me. I also noticed reading this site this year, everyone who announced a date ended up backing out. I’m glad. I think people who set a date, deep down they’re not sure. And if you’re not sure you should definitely hold off and explore other options. I think people who are absolutely 100 pct sure won’t wait another minute, they’ll do it the first chance they get. But if you can wait for a later date, then you can wait a day past that, and a day past that, and keep trying to solve your problems the whole time. I’m still trying but at least I’m not actively suicidal at the moment. Maybe setting a date makes us feel calmer and in control, but I think it might be more productive to take control of what’s wrong in your life.
On that thought, or just talking to myself I guess, i think it’s a good strategy to set a deadline and tell yourself you’ll try as hard as you can until that date. Like if you are depressed because you’re broke, you can say you’ll try like hell to get a decent job by the end of the year and if you can’t then you’ll kill yourself. That way you still feel in control of your life/death but you’re also setting a productive goal *shrugs*
I like and u derstand your way of thinking.
I have a personal dealdine or rather once I wrapped up what I needed to I’m off to ctb
In essence yes I have a date/deadline. Outside of that I have no worries or qualsm otherwise.
I just could not leave here without making sure a couple of things where completes or rather out in place.
But again. I understand and like your way of thinking and you are correct most that set a date do so for a reason. To give themselves time.
As for me…once I mail off this package I have that I swear finally has everythinf I can think of in it…lol… I’m good as gone.
I’m gonna have me a nice meal a couple of shots and say goodnight to the world and hello to the universe.
If I don’t got through with it, I’ll be forever trapped in torment.
Again, something I morr than understand.
More than you could know…this life is torment for some ppl.