And somehow you find yourself waking up again.
Wasnt able to go through with it but managed to keep myself stupified under alcohol for several days straight. I dont know how i avoided a hospital trip after the blood loss and vomitting.
I was caught slipping on cutting and got one of my tools taken away. Sometimes he checks my arms i’ll have to start hiding it better or start doing things that affect internally only. Keeping up with smoking has begun hurting, my lungs feel on fire and heavy. Maybe my health will take a dive soon.
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Sometimes I feel like its a lot easier to just go downhill again. Makes the trip back harder, though.
I hope you can find something that gives you a break. None of that sounds pleasant or easy.
True, its definitely a lot easier to let gravity pull you down but only so far. I feel bad for being self destructive at times because at the point its taking actual effort it seems like I’ve put too much thought or heart into it.
Still find myself naturally drifting into it though, who is the concerning part. I hope so to. I think everyone deserves a break or at least a break from themselves once in a while.