I fantasize that I could someway remove everyone’s demons and be the one to die for you. A negative Jesus so to speak. The one that could heal everyone’s pain and take that trip to hell for you. Your personal Sin Eater. Everyone’s emissary to hell.
I would not do this out of love for you but out of the self loathing. All that pain in itself would make me king demon. Bleeding your pain and sweating your tears. Your Negative Jesus. Your sineater. Your Negative savior.
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Why?
Why not?
According to gospel, Jesus DID take on our sins.
according to who?
Somehow this is the Jesus I have easier time to imagine. Self hatred is so easy to drown in, isn’t it?
I understand you. Worldly martyrs are a dime a dozen. Suffer a brief 30 odd years for an eternity in heaven, that doesn’t impress me as much as someone who would suffer eternity in hell for the sake of others. I don’t believe in heaven or hell so none of this means anything, but symbolically speaking, I get you completely. But then, if hell (afterlife) does not exist, then wouldn’t the greatest martyr be the one who lives a long, long life trying to make the world a better place for others?