I am not entirely sure where to start. I have been depressed for several years and have been contemplating suicide since I was 15 (3 years ago). I have finally reached my breaking point and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live either. Everything is going wrong and it is too much to handle. This past year both of my grandparents and my two month old cousin died and I was devastated. The one friend I could talk to about anything doesn’t talk to me anymore. I have lost interest in all of the things that used to bring me the slightest amount of happiness. The girl I love most in the world is dating another guy. I am a total screw up at everything I do. I hate my job but if I quit I probably won’t find another. I have become distant from the majority of my friends and I am so lonely all of the time even when I am surrounded by people. I can’t take it anymore and I just want it all to end.
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Hey there,
I’m very very sorry you’r going through all this
& entirely on your own
& i’m very very sorry for your loss
It’s an overwhelming feeling
& to be both sad & alone
makes things much much worse
I understand how all what you’v mentioned combined
can make it look like there’s no use staying anymore
but if we can look at this as a set of seperate problems
& deal with them
one problem at a time
I’m willing to swear to you that you will gradually feel & be
much much better
& things will slowly get back to normal…
I wish to help any way i can
& i’m hoping you would give me that honor
so now I ask you,
can we talk?
are you okay with listening to what i have to say?
if you’r not comfortable talking here
that’s okay
my email is
farahlajeennouraldeen.1
@gmail
please know that you’r most welcome to contact me at any time
tc
You’ve been through so much this past year. Know that it’s really really okay to not have your life all together (or at all), especially at your age and ESPECIALLY with all you’ve been dealing with. Being at the end of your rope is a normal reaction to the loss and loneliness you’re experiencing, such that it’s more than understandable to fall apart. Sometimes we have to before we can get to a better place, but no one should have to go through it alone. I know you’ve been feeling distant, which can make it difficult, but is there anyone in your life you feel capable of reaching out to for support?
Sounds like a lot of shit happened lately in your life. Hang tight buddy. Maybe listen to some music like 24 floors by The Maine or Paradise Fears’ Battle scars. Probably won’t help but can soothe a bit when you still hesitate between life and death.
I want to thank you all for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to know that someone cares. I still want to go through with suicide but, there are several things I need to do before ending it all. I still need to write a note for my family and the people who were my friends to let them know it isn’t their fault and that they shouldn’t blame themselves because there was nothing they could do.
so we can’t talk about this at all? 🙁
i’m just asking you to try?…
We can talk. I don’t want to go through with this but I feel like I don’t have any other options. You and skylark seem more helpful than any counsellor or therapist I have spoken with because they just talked about the problem and never offered any help to try and get through it.
From what I have seen on other posts the two of you have helped so many people and that is incredibly kind of you.
that part about the therapists made me smile 😀
your appreciation is most appreciated 🙂
& it’s not an obligation in any way
that we talk
it’s just an offer
& if at any point you just feel like
you don’t wanna go through with this
you can tell me
& we’ll call it off
okay
my first question has to do with ur early thoughts about suicide
you said you were 15
can you tell me what brought these thoughts in the first place?
something traumatic happened?
small but hurtful things that gradually piled up?
no clue?
All the small things build up and they don’t hurt much on their own but when they build up it is crushing.
apologies for the delay 🙂
i just have to do a couple of things while talking here…
okay…
could we talk about these small things…
could you, maybe, list them / write them down
& when they happened
then we can talk about how you feel towards them
or if they’r still affecting you in some way
still there ?
I’m sorry if I seem to have drifted off the main subject 🙁
but i’m trying to understand the past
so i could see how u’r looking at things now…
if u wanna only talk about current things that’s okay
& in summary i could tell you that these things you feel so tangles up together
are in reality separate problems
& we could try to fix them one at a time
step by step
okay…
I’m going to tell you something that we all have heard and hate hearing………but it’s true. Life will get better and the Hell you are going thru is what will make you a better, stronger person as you age. I am not going to try to tell you some bullshit other than, try, really try to take one day at a time. Find one thing, just one thing to smile about and run with that. Each day, find one thing. Change habits, try a new cafe or whatever you kids do these days. Explore, take a drive to another town, a drive in the country. See new places and try to experience new things. Day by day it will get easier. You have had to deal with alot this past year BUT time does heal some wounds. I hope you find your place in this world and experience all the joy that is out there. Good luck young man