I’ll leave all the details out….but I was extremely depressed and decided to try the helium hood method. It failed catastrophically. I am absolutely sure I did everything right too.
MATERIALS I USED:
– 1 60cuft cylinder containing industrial grade 99.9% pure helium.
– 1 flow regulator
– 6 ft 1/4 inch flexible PVC tubing
– 1 box of XL oven bags (19 X 23)
– 1 medium cotton elastic band
STEPS I DID:
1. Installed flow regulator and checked pressure and leaks
2. Attached flexible tubing and checked for leaks
3. Checked oven bag for leaks
4. Pulled bag + elastic band over my head down past my ears, but leaving mouth exposed.
5. Pushed absolutely all the air out of the bag
6. Opened valve on cylinder to bleed air out of the tubing and covered tip of the tube with my thumb (tube only contained helium)
6. Inserted tube into bag and filled bag
7. Exhaled all the air out of my lungs and carefully pulled bag + elastic band down to my neck. I was very careful not to let in any air
8. Closed valve on cylinder
OUTCOME:
I took a deep breath of helium and exhaled. After that, I started breathing normally. Roughly 10 seconds in (4-5 deep breaths), I started getting light headed and tingly all over. Roughly 20-25 seconds in, I started hyperventilating. Roughly 30-35 seconds in I felt pain in my chest. I’m pretty sure I passed out after that because next thing I know, I woke up struggling for breath clawing at the bag over my head. My chest felt like a horse kicked me there and my legs were shaking. I’m not sure how long I was unconscious, but I managed to get the bag off my head before passing out again. I sat there catching my breath for a good 15 minutes but the lightheadedness didn’t go away for at least an hour. I was extremely stressed and decently traumatized by the ordeal at that point and I thought to myself this was enough for today…. I’ll try again tomorrow.
The next day I rechecked everything for leaks and decided to try again thinking that I did something wrong the first time. I followed through with all the same steps, except this time it I positioned the tube close to my mouth and nose inside the bag. The outcome was slightly different. I had the same hyperventilating and chest pain but I passed out a lot faster this time. However I woke up halfway on the floor in the act of ripping the bag off…. And I remember saying “fuck”, but it was with a high pitched helium voice, so I slightly chuckled (weird I know). I tried again a few hours later and did all the same steps except this time I used a new bag and I left the gas flowing slightly inside the bag. This time I had the same hyperventilating and chest pain then I passed out very rapidly. Again….. I woke up violently clawing at the bag and struggling for air and my body was shaking. I believe this time I passed out for a longer period of time, because I was really messed up for a while. I couldn’t put words together to speak and my motorskills were off quite a bit. I was also having trouble with my vision and other senses. It has now been a week since I last tried and my brain function is still not back to where it was before I tried this method. I’m still having slight difficulty speaking and I’m losing chunks of time throughout the day. My memory is also affected. At the end of the day I can’t remember or account for most of the day. I believe multiple attempts of suicide by helium has caused some damage to my brain.
DO NOT TRY THIS METHOD! It is quite violent and scary and if you fail, there is a big chance that you’ll have some damage to your brain. I don’t believe there is any damn way that anyone could’ve pulled this off without assistance. Even if they did, they would’ve had to have been completely incapacitated by drugs to endure this process all the way through….which wouldn’t make any sense because you have to be focused to execute this method correctly. I know from experience that this method is NOT peaceful, or painless and failure can cause permanent brain damage. I assure you….I am not some bible thumper trying to change people’s minds about exiting their lives……Just don’t chose this method.
25 comments
Hey Mr Irish.
I’m sorry to hear that things didn’t work out well for you. I hope your mental functions recover.
I’ve read that some countries supply ‘balloon gas’ which instead of being pure helium, sometimes is cut with oxygen.
Also, did you turn off the gas supply during your attempt? If you did, I guess it’s possible that some oxygen could find its way into the bag and not be displaced by a constant flow of helium.
Wishing you the best for the future.
I tried it with gas still flowing and without gas flowing. Neither worked and both ways we’re extremely painful and scary. I believe I came closer to dying with the gas continuously flowing, but it still didn’t work. I definitely can’t recommend this method to anyone
Sometimes, when you want something done, you got to get dirty about it. I sometimes think about jumping off a cliff, though the thought scares me.
Yeah, some helium tanks are starting to get some oxygen placed inside them, and you have at least 10% oxygen, then you’ll live. Sorry, buddy.
That would make sense. I practiced many times before actually going through with it to make sure there were no hangups. When I did finally go through with it….I tried multiple times. Each time very carefully. I thoroughly checked the cylinder and tubing for leaks and I went through the steps very methodically. There should have been no CO2 build up inside the bag, therefore there should’ve been no error in the process of exiting.
I’m pretty sure the helium wasn’t as pure as it was supposed to be.
If the 99.9% pure helium I paid a premium price for is cut with air….. Then I’ll at least go get my damn money back and get a shotgun.
That’s actually illegal if Airgas is promoting 99.9% pure helium and cutting it with air
Hmm, I’m not sure how you’d test that. Maybe try burning a candle and see if it snuffs out quickly in the gas, or takes a bit longer. Fire needs about 18% oxygen to survive.
The material data sheet should give the exact specifications. It shouldn’t be hidden, even if it’s not immediately obvious on the labelling.
I’ve heard good things about helium exit bag though, but maybe there are intricate details that could lead to failure? Leaking joints, contaminated helium, stubborn oxygen that isn’t displaced.
Pure helium is definitely lethal. The only reason it wouldn’t be if is sufficient oxygen is present. Other gases: ********, argon, carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, or any gas that displaces oxygen is 100% lethal.
Carbon monoxide is my backup option actually if helium were unsuccessful. Of course, a belt or equivalent is tried and true.
Switzerland is an option, hah. Maybe not a straightforward one, unfortunately.
Switzerland is unfortunately a very expensive option. Also, the selection requirements are very stringent and not everyone is accepted.
Its weird that there’s not some need for incapcitation considering most suffocating methods rely on this or assistance. Mustve been agonizing to keep going through the attempts. How did you even manage after the first two misses?
It shouldn’t need incapacitation, if you’re subjected to 100% gas that is not oxygen, then that is 100% lethal.
If it fails, then there must be contamination with oxygen, somewhere. Either in the tank, all the joints and equipment, or the bag.
I tried multiple times because I really needed it to work. I spent the last of my money on all the materials and I don’t own a gun so there was no real foolproof backup plan. The idea of jumping off a bridge or hanging myself or overdosing sounded drawn out and terrifying so that left me with two options. Exit bag or shotgun. Exit bag was appealing because it sounded peaceful…so I went with that.
I don’t know what went wrong. I just know that I followed all the steps to a tee and bought all the proper materials including industrial-grade pure helium. I had no problem passing out from Helium inhalation (even though I was panicky and uncomfortable) the problem was that I woke up every time flailing around in excruciating pain and struggling for breath. It was quite traumatic and I don’t think I could ever talk myself into pulling a goddamn bag of helium over my head ever again. It did some damage to my brain as well. Everything was quite expensive too?. I basically spent $300 to not die and mess my brain up. I’m just trying to make people aware that this is not a reliable way to end yourself. It also requires way too much planning and effort which will give you time to think and change your mind….. And there’s only a 50/50 chance that it will actually work.
I’m going to save up and buy a shotgun. I know for a fact that a 12 gauge slug won’t fail me.
We aren’t supposed to talk details here but I hope this post stays up because this sort of information could save someone from brain damage.
You’re the 4rd person I’ve read who has been very careful to do everything right, but still it failed. One of the others ended up jumping off a bridge, and I don’t know about the others. Extreme chest pain, panic and disorientation just like you described. NOT WORTH IT. Repeat: NOT WORTH IT.
I think the general conclusion is that helium suppliers are cheating, or maybe regulations are now forcing them to dilute the mix. One of the suppliers listed in Peaceful Pill, their initials are BT, is definitely no go. Anyway like I said, I hope this post stays up because failed attempts are the worst outcome so this is a good warning for anyone googling the helium hood.
So back to suicide support… talk to us, what brought you to this point? There are no miracle cures here, but some of us find it helps ease the pain to talk to other like minded people in the time we have left.
Yeah my intention was to warn people about this method. If my post is too detailed I can definitely edit it. The exit bag is just not reliable and can possibly make your life worse.
I decided to end it for three reasons:
1. I have a lot of problems in my life. Family related and financial. I have an ex who uses my kids as a tool to extort me for thousands of dollars a month. If I don’t comply with her demands…. She brainwashes my children into hating me. It’s a sick game and she’s a very sick person. I give her so much money that I can’t even pay my own bills. I’m losing my house in a month or so and I’ve had to sell everything I own to keep up. She has pretty much convinced my kids that I am a piece of crap for no apparent reason and my own kids don’t even want to see me anymore and they send me a lot of hateful texts……
2. My body is really messed up from working hard my whole life. I have bulging and herniated discs in my back, blown out knees, torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders, arthritis in my hands and feet and I have roughly 20 really bad cavities in my mouth. I am in a lot of physical pain all the time. I’m also a recovered alcoholic… So my kidneys and liver are in really bad shape. I have to take 1600 mg of ibuprofen everyday just to make it through work. Because of my ex being such a money-grubbing *****…. I can’t even afford the co-pay to go to the doctor…. And honestly I have so many things wrong with my body I wouldn’t even know where to start.
3. I fucking hate what society has become. Self preservation is the new religion and everyone is only out for themselves. People have become so disattached from one another and people seem to be more worried about updating their Instagram or Facebook then they are making an actual impact in some way.
Basically, I hurt in every way possible and I hate my life. ?
Wow. That’s one hell of a load.
1. I’ve never been married, no kids, but I’ve read enough suicide posts here to know that divorce/custody/alimony is one of the most hopeless situations. Especially when young kids are used as living weapons, like she’s doing to you, it’s unbelievable how a parent can be so self absorbed that she’ll poison a child’s mind with hate, just to win. I don’t know what to say, not that anything can make it better.
2. This I’m familiar with. Neck injury years ago and painkillers don’t work anymore. It sounds like your body is falling apart which is ironic because you were strong enough to survive multiple helium suicides. Some sort of cosmic joke I guess. Although not as funny as saying “fuck” in a high pitched voice while trying to kill yourself, I gotta say that made me laugh.
3. This I’m familiar with also. I give the human race maybe 100 more years, 3 generations, before it’s totally worthless. If it hasn’t blown itself up by then.
Bottom line, that’s a lot of shit to deal with. Have you considered skipping town, maybe having one last hurrah with the last of your money instead of handing it over to the witch? Find some resort in Mexico where you can swim with the dolphins or something crazy you’ve always wanted to do? Death is pretty final so here’s your chance.
Your post is inspirational and you don’t know how much it means to me that someone (you) actually listened and offered good relatable feedback. I am definitely thinking about just quitting my routine instead of giving up on life. I can definitely try a new change of pace. It won’t be easy to escape but it might be doable. Hopefully it works and I can find a way to center myself and get my sanity back. I still favor death at this point and time, but tomorrow is a different day.
You sound like you’ve been through a lot too. I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure such pain and misery. It’s not easy and remedies to life’s tormenting ways are far and few between. I wish there was a place on this earth that people like us could go to retire in peace from agony. A sort of oasis for people who have struggled in vain their whole lives…..but the reality is that no such place exists. We are all just animals trying to survive and survival is easy for some and extremely hard for others. Some people’s? chips fall where they’re supposed to and some people’s chips get scattered about and they have to try to make sense of it. I’ve been trying to make sense of things for too long now. I’m tired and I have no more energy. It would take something substantially positive to happen in my life to change my outlook.
I’m glad my comment gave you a little inspiration, you’ve done the same for me believe it or not. My worst state of mind is stagnation, and depression tends to do just that. When I see a post from someone fighting to break out, whether choosing life or choosing death, it always wakes me up from my stagnation. The determination in your attempt is raw fighting courage. It takes guts to do what you did, and it makes me wonder if that could be channeled into living?
I go through days when I convince myself I must die. Lucky for me I don’t have a gun, and the nearest tall structure is a 3hr drive. So I can’t act on impulse, that’s the way it should be. Because just like you, another day comes along when I feel like changing my routine and giving life another shot.
Like you said, we’re all just trying to make sense of these damn chips. Maybe they only make sense at the point of death. That’s why it’s really interesting that in your suicide attempt, you were so determined that you kept trying… and at the same time your subcondcious was so determined to live that you fought off death the same number of times. Isn’t that crazy when you think of it? Like 2 different minds fighting for control of your body. Anyway, I guess the point is wouldn’t it be great to harness that power and rebuild yourself a great productive meaningful life?
That’s where it stands with me, too. At this particular moment, after reading your story and our discussion and rambling out my own thoughts, I feel inclined to suck down a pot of coffee and say Ok how do I fix this mess. My reason for suicide = financial disaster (yeah how ordinary lol). But reasons for suicide are all basically the same, we’re faced with a painful problem that we can’t figure out how to fix. I won’t pretend that there’s an instant way to get your kids back in your life, just like there’s no instant way to pay off all my debts and get back to where I was. We both have long roads ahead, if we choose to live. But damn, that shortcut to death is so tempting! I guess like you said, tomorrow is a different day. You have to admit one thing in this disaster called life… things are about to get interesting.
I’ve read of numerous stories from people dying from inert gas plus it’s used to euthanize animals (********) so clearly your helium must’ve been mixed with oxygen. Additionally He is lighter than air so it’s possible it never got into your lungs.
I’d go with N2, plus if you know where to get it, you’ll know that 100% pure-also it’s heavier than air so it should settle in your lungs better and your body is used to it so no panic effect. The first or second attempt should’ve been enough to make you realize that it’s not going to work and you needed to try something new, so you could avoid brain damage.
From videos I’ve seen, high altitude hypoxia (in a plane) is the absolute best way to go, you’re unconscious in seconds and die within minutes after that. I’m hoping it’ll be the same as using ******** gas…the stories I’ve heard here have convinced me to avoid helium altogether…if/when I decide to do it.
I’m wary of jumping, drowning and guns-though I know they can work too, I want to limit any pain plus also be assured I won’t survive with terrible injuries. Here in Canada there’s been a high death rate due to fentanyl, apparently its 1000x more potent than morphine. A cop accidentally touched it and immediately became unconscious. Sounds like a pretty good drug for our purposes but still carries too much risk for my liking. But fentanyl plus drowning in a lake should do the trick.
Yeah….I probably should have stopped after the second attempt, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I just did something wrong in the previous attempts and that it would eventually work……I NEEDED it to work. At that point I spent weeks building up the right mental state to go through with it. I then spent a week planning and hundreds of dollars on the setup. I was mentally exhausted and I didn’t have the energy to come up with a different method. Next time, I won’t fail.
I completely understand your need to end it all, particularly where chronic pain is part of the equation. Have you researched part. susp. ha.ng.in.g? This is the one I’ve personally settled on because according to my research you pass out within about 10 seconds. You don’t even have to compress the windpipe. The main thing to take into account would be the thrashing around during unconsciousness though. Hopefully tying my legs together will minimize the impact of this.
I really admire your courage in going ahead with your attempt and your generosity in relating the experience here as a warning to others. I hope I have your resolve and courage when the time comes.
@mrirish
I hear you my friend I wasn’t judging or anything. I realize when one is very intent on ending one’s life it’s easy to lose some objectivity. It also takes a certain amount of courage to even make the attempt. I hope whatever you try next will succeed and give you the peace that you seek.
I read that you take ibuprofen. Have you thought about overdosing with that? Have you considered hydrogen sulfide? Just asking, not suggesting you do it, just interested in your thoughts about these. You still alive?
I think it might work, I plan on giving it a go myself, but with a non re breather mark, O2 tubing, and opioids. I might actually tape my hands together after reading this though, so thankyou
mask*
Would the non-rebreather mask work?
Inhalants are the shortest, fastest and surest way to organic brain damage. Not a sure way to peacefully and painlessly leaving this existence.
Feel better.
Would a non-rebreather work?