Every time, the day after I had so much fun, I end up so fucking depressed. I don’t know if I feel this way because when I enjoy myself I don’t feel like myself or if I just need to constantly enjoy myself. I knew this was going to happen after going to that concert. I fucking knew it. I need this to stop. I just can’t today.
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I so relate to this. Every time I socialize and have fun, there’s hell to pay after. Sometimes the same night. I think it’s like you said, when I’m having fun I don’t feel like myself. Instead it’s some artificial personality that squashes the real me way down, but guess who always has the final say. A while ago I read about a girl who killed herself after a Christmas party. Everyone was shocked because she was laughing and having the time of her life, then left early and killed herself. And I was like I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
It’s called post-show-depression. I actually enjoy the feeling.