I see so many posts of people not liking their bodies. It’s such a shame that we are all shamed for what we look like by society. We’re either too skinny, or too fat, or too short, or too tall, or [fill in the blank].
My entire life, I was made fun of for being too skinny. I was teased ENDLESSLY, daily, by everyone; even the teachers joined in. It was horrible. I got no reprieve- at school- and especially not at home. My mother and sisters were merciless- every body part was scrutinized and sneered at. Naturally, I grew up thinking I was grotesquely ugly like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, because everyone said so.
Turns out I was actually pretty and I never even knew it. Gosh, all that time hating myself and my body, because women around me were jealous of what I looked like, so all they dug in and tried to rip me apart. This all started when I turned 7. How can people be so mean to a little child? Jealousy and hatred for someone starts so young.
I was a shy person all my life (till recently). I kept to myself. I never wore makeup or pretty dresses. I always covered up (after all, I was too skinny and ugly, wasn’t I?). I always wore pants, and shorts only if it was too hot outside in the summer to wear pants. And I always had long hair so I could cover my face and body. I did well in my studies and just tried to be a good person. I was always there if a friend needed me. I always tried to be perfect in every way, so that people would like me. But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I was always hated by women. Women- girls at school, mother, sister, female coworkers and bosses, and “friends”- they all took jabs at me, and constantly put me down to make themselves feel better. Jealously is just so lovely, isn’t it?
To this day, I have body image issues. Except nowadays I’m trying to lose weight like every other woman- because society tells us we’re all fat. Is it not a wonder why women become anorexic or bulimic or are constantly dieting?
And it’s not just women, though women get it much worse. If you are male and too skinny, or too short, well society is going to make fun of you too. Or if you’re a woman and too tall or “butch,” well that’s just wrong too. Nobody can be perfect and be goldilocks- tall but not too tall, thin but not too thin, pretty but not too pretty- it’s impossible. You get shitted on for being ugly, and you get shitted on for being too pretty.
Why can’t people just treat other people like decent human beings, no matter what they look like? Whether someone is too skinny or too fat or too pretty or too ugly. Why is there such a need to hate on others?
31 comments
Agree!!
How did you handle all those moments where you’ve been abused mentally for the way you were looking?
I cried into my pillow every night. There was nothing else I could do. It started when I was 7 and there was no one I could turn to. I was bullied at home and at school. There wasn’t an “internet” back then either so I couldn’t get help, or even search for it.
It was horrible no?
When i was growing up, it was usually one class of person that got tortured relentlessly – The overweight.
Didn’t matter if you were a kid or an adult, the insults were pretty horrible. I can’t think of anyone (boy’s) at school who got grief for being thin.
Yeah, Men could be bastards, but imo Women have it a hell of a lot worse.
Not only have you ladies got the media shaming you into a ridiculous ideal of what a Woman should look like, but your own ‘sisters’ are fucking brutal as well.
The amount of hate you ladies give each other is something i have witnessed myself. You’ll talk with each other, smiling and what not…then the second your back is turned it’s fucking daggers.
The criticisms i have heard don’t just stop at body shape. It includes clothes, make up and hair. Thats just the ‘covert’ stuff.
It’s a million times worse in todays society. Seriously, i know Millenials get a lot of grief from all sides of the spectrum, as if their ‘disorders’ are some fantasy. But i try to imagine what it is like for a teen nowadays.
The fear of being shamed online for one. Pop videos are another (i know they existed when i was a kid) but not to the extent nowadays, with all the plastic teen popstars.
Then you’ve got youtube, instagram (and a thousand other ways to have bile spewed upon you)
What are you supposed to think of yourself when you look in the mirror, after seeing ‘Princess xxxx’ on youtube, with 1000s of subscribers? Then there’s you (who by all accounts look normal, but not “drop dead fucking gorgeous”) You can’t compete. You get depressed. You end up on places like here.
The internet although great for many things, is really not good in this regard. It makes us compete against each other and sow seeds of paranoia about our own bodies. The media have always been slime in this regard.
Thank fuck i am not a teen in this age.
I don’t blame the internet, I blame shitty humans. The internet just gives us access to media- be it good or bad. Granted, nowadays it’s just teeny boppers and 20s kids in scantily-clad bikini’s with their fake perfect plastic bodies.
But honestly, I would’ve had a better life if I had internet growing up. In my case, I was not allowed to talk to other people, I was shut in at home and not allowed to go out the moment I got home from school. My environment was so horrid and controlled and devoid of any humane contact. I did not have any other perspective. Had I been able to go online, I would’ve realized I wasn’t such a grotesque human, but that everyone else was cruel. I had no one I could talk to, no way to get help.
I hear you eternal. I feel for you guys who had over controlling or what’s the terrm? ‘helicopter parenting’ Everyone knew at school what each others parents were like. (was another excuse to take the piss out of you)
I wish i had the net when i was a kid as well. I , unfortunately learned of the world through movies.
I turned out ok….
Seriously though, i don’t even know what im getting angry about now. Bad parenting, bad society, bad people or bad internet. Fuck knows. I hope you’re doing ok though mate.
Excuse the rambling mate..
I didn’t have helicopter parenting- my parents didn’t give a rat’s ass about me- it was the stuff I was never allowed to do, like going outside, and the constant bashing, criticism, hitting and abuse.
I would have much preferred to be left completely alone. Much better than constantly bashed (both physically and mentally).
I’d say rant about bad parenting, bad society, and bad people. The internet is just a tool- it has been more helpful and a “friend” to me than really any person.
Attack helicopter parenting maybe?
I’m sorry you went through that eternal. I was mostly left alone. Thought it was bad at the time but maybe i dodged a bullet there.
I just needed to rant at something tonight. Any topic on society itself can get me wound up.
yes, being left alone > being harrassed every moment of your life.
mmm…lots to rant about, MM. Society is so effed up. Mostly because people are so effed up, and are evil shitty people.
I dunno what you’d make of my flat. I live near the centre of a Town. My front room has a whole corner of a building looking out on a busy junction. I get to see people , the way they treat each other , their children and other things that make me delay going out to the shop until i think it’s ‘safer’
I actually recently started writing down my thoughts / musings on the day to day shit that happens.
My parents were the same. They were all mental and they were all just weak people looking for someone to blow off steam on. Unfortunately, a lot of f-ed up people were never qualified to be parents in the first place and they end up f-ing up their kids and the chain goes on and on and here we are.. in a world full of f-ed up people because nature didn’t put a lid on their reproductive systems. The best we can do is not eff up like our sh*thead parents.
“in a world full of f-ed up people because nature didn’t put a lid on their reproductive systems.”
-> Yep. If only nature would disallow bad and unfit people to reproduce. If only I was never born… This life is too painful. And this world is too shitty.
Yes, you’re right. Women are the most cruel to each other. I don’t know why. Why can’t women just not be so damn bitchy to each other? I can’t stand it. Another reason why I don’t go out and engage in human contact. If I could walk with ease, I might join you in talking to the ducks at the park lol. We’ll go crazy and learn the language of the ducks together lol.
Honestly, humans are the most vile creatures. I always wished I was any animal other than human. Well, a flying animal cuz flying is cool 😛
haha
That’s why i don’t go out to much. It’s like ‘Ghostbusters 2’s’ river of slime exists under my Town.
I did see one funmy comedian, i think it might have been ‘Dylan Moran’ (funny guy) he says this man and woman are having a conversation , and he says “she looks pretty” and she says “yeah, but in an obvious way ” lol
See you at the park eterrnal.
This is horrible. I’m sorry for everyone who got bullied. The “let’s find who is different and project our crap onto them” game.
And yeah, it’s not easy to get over it especially when it started in childhood.
I’ve also been bullied at home and starting from kindergarten. Basically for being sensitive and overweight.
My father still thinks he did the right thing by calling me names and telling me my body is not okay ever since I could remember. His goal in life was to make me loose weight. But he was doing it jokingly, you know, like “Fatty” and stuff. So if you’re being “funny” that’s okay…..The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
And when your own parents see you as flawed, you will find it obvious that others in your peer group will bully you…because, basically they are right, no?
So yeah, now this is all long gone, but the effects are still there…
Yep, that’s why some of us are so messed up now.
lol, idk how any father could think calling his daughter “fatty” is in any way helpful. smh.
Because society is competitive with an inferiority complex. People are nasty to each other because they all learned it from someone else, their ancestors and it all started with their uneducated and warped ideas. Cause and effect. The domino effect. Can’t change others, can only change ourselves and spread good influence and hope the nasty energies get beaten by the positives.
Following society’s ideals is an option, people don’t realize it or don’t want to fight against it. Personally I think society’s ideals are unrealistic and just a shared fantasy. People are idiots trying to impose their own fantasies onto others. They are not in their right minds. There is nothing wrong with you, you’re just surrounded by a**holes. Chin high and carry on.
P.S. Know that not all women are like that.. there are few like you who thinks and feels the same, just that the majority are egotistically fragile and shallow. Some of those women change when they become more mature. Keep an open-mind and give people the benefit of the doubt.
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“I was always there if a friend needed me. I always tried to be perfect in every way, so that people would like me. But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I was always hated by […]”
I recognize myself in those statements; but in my case it was guys.
“they all took jabs at me, and constantly put me down to make themselves feel better.”
To this day, the same happens to me. I wondered why. The only logical conclusion I came to, was: they felt threatened because they felt inferior.
second part wont show
I typed a whole lot of text but it doesn’t want to show
aww that sucks. it doesn’t show in pending either so I guess your text got lost? all I see is a period (.)
The way I see it is this: Nature gave you a lot of riches. Things that are intangible / immeasurable; at least for now, until you turn them to material things.
People are like animals. Instinctively, they sense the difference in ability, skills, and whatever else, viscerally.
Since they can’t compete fairly, what do they do attack your mind to prevent you from actualizing your potential
If you want, you can check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a40zFyDGMvo
At some point MJ talks about how he had to toughen up mentally and how he was merciless against his opponents.
Through my experiences, I came to see that there is not other way. The mental battle is where I’ve always lost.
I don’t want to fight. I would rather everyone be at peace and help each other out but i if there is no other alternative, well…
well fate does not want you to see what i have to say. I have a copy of the text but it does not show no matter what i try.
I give up. Good luck
PS: I bet this post will show up but not the other one
btw, if your post has links, it will generally go into spam or deleted. try modifying the URL, like adding spaces or something, so it goes through next time.
So where in the video does he talk about that? it’s 46min long…
Yes, it seems that in order to make in life, one generally has to be merciless and ruthless. Not 100% always, but generally. I see the all the a**holes doing well in life. But the “nice” guy or gal, well, fuck ’em. They don’t get anywhere in life. Again, not 100%, but generally. This is what I’ve seen in my life.
It’s WEIRD looking back and realizing you didn’t look as awful as you thought you did, isn’t it? For me, I was convinced I was the fattest, ugliest scummy creature, when I was actually pretty ordinary except for my outlandish fashion choices. Things got better after I went to university. One day I just buzzed my hair, bought a binder, stopped wearing makeup, stopped stepping on scales, looking too long in the mirror or thinking too hard about what I was wearing. And I feel so much more comfortable in my skin because of it! Some strangers still think they can talk about my appearance in my earshot for some reason, but I guess everyone’s a little bit like that. As much as I try not to, when I first meet someone I invariably have some internal commentary going on in my head about the way they look (are they fatter or skinnier than me? what are they wearing? what does their skin look like?) But people should be polite enough to keep their thoughts to themselves, and treat people as people regardless of appearance.