im 31 never amounted to nothing I don’t have nothing to look forward to my whole family as told me iam worthless I got no friends and the one person I loved well he is leavening me I want to do the whole world a fav and and leave but I am 2 scared to do it I feel empty im alone there no one I wake alone I sleep alone .. I do taekwondo it the only thing I feel ok for a little moment but I like to talk about about it a lot and people say Im bosting or wanting people to pay attion to me by people I mean on social things like xbox they say being around me is depressing I feel so in dark place I pray some days that I wont wake up I am old enough to know that my life it wont Matter no one will Miss me people will never miss a mistake
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The discipline you have learned in taekwondo should serve you well in meditation. I suggest you try some guided meditation.
I fucked off until I was 29 and then, over the next ten years, I founded two startups which prospered and then caught on fire and burned to the ground, leaving me black and blue. Does that quality as “amounting to anything”?
No. No because life is a journey not a destination. Amounting to something is an illusion. Winning is an illusion. In the fullness of time we are already dead and forgotten. Don’t buy into the hype.
Personally, I try to find a modicum of happiness. I practice compassion. I try to grow my empathy, especially towards myself. I try to surround myself with people that love me.
Your family are assholes. Probably because they don’t know any better. Sorry about that.
Death is a rather drastic solution to bad advice given to you by your parents. I know you are in pain. It will pass. New loves, new friends are on the horizon.
I hear you.
Those words are hurtful and should never come from your family, who, in theory, should be a support system to you. You are not a mistake and even though it does seem like it, your family will certainly miss you. The world will miss you. There’s still so much time left to experience. I hope that things will start looking up and that you will meet someone who wants you to talk about your passion in taekwondo as much as you want to
As SeeSmith said, new people, new horizons. Screw the people who hurt you and try to move forward in life. I was like you once, I felt trapped and alone with no one to turn to. Friends weren’t really friends as I found out since that group was full of backbiting, gossip and big egoistic psychopaths. I challenged myself to get out of that rut and found new friends that I can actually connect with but like with new things, this takes time.
To add, from time to time I have the urge to fight back and make a “critical strike” to borrow the words from one immatur3 turd in the group (as you can tell, this guy has issues. He thinks he’s a ninja warrior that is the arbiter of justice and is like Bruce Lee. Yes, he’s the unstable mentally person who hears voices in his head that I mentioned in my rant posts back) but I have decided to be the better man and let him wallow in his hate.
As SeeSmith said, new people, new horizons. Screw the people who hurt you and try to move forward in life. I was like you once, I felt trapped and alone with no one to turn to. Friends weren’t really friends as I found out since that group was full of backbiting, gossip and big egoistic psychopaths. I challenged myself to get out of that rut and found new friends that I can actually connect with but like with new things, this takes time.
To add, from time to time I have the urge to fight back and make a “critical strike” to borrow the words from one immatur3 turd in the group (as you can tell, this guy has issues. He thinks he’s a ninja warrior that is the arbiter of justice and is like Bruce Lee. Yes, he’s the unstable mentally person who hears voices in his head that I mentioned in my rant posts back) but I have decided to be the better man and let him wallow in his hate.
He doesn’t even realize how much of a loser he is because he has no sense of self-realization (in his eyes, he can do no wrong) and has a big ego to go with it that feeds his delusions of grandeur. It’s sad to watch to be honest.
The guy is currently unemployed and just wastes his time playing in front of a PC, has gotten fat, thinks he’s a great martial artist (despite being physically unfit) and noe thinks he’s above me while I’m adding something for myself learning trades in the process. Just how sad is that?
PS. Also can’t believe how I had to splice this up in parts. Seems some phrases or words here are automatically labeled as spam in this site and won’t allow me to post unless the “offending” word or phrase is removed.
I hear you.
I am new to here and reading your post is what I’m going through now.