am 11:11

“you’re ugly. and fat. and disgusting. like the shit of a pig. and no one is gonna love you.
how so silly. why do you think somebody will loves someone as ugly as you, when even your very own mother does not?
you’re such a waste of space and time. you should’ve died when your mother tried to aborted you 26 years ago. why do you have to be born? why do you have to life? you don’t deserve happiness. you don’t deserve to be loved. you’re that one child that was not supposed to have been born. you’re a huge mistake. unwanted, even by people you called parents -family. you’re a failure. you’re a disappointment. you’re not good enough, you will never be. unlike your brother who’s the apple of your mom’s eyes. you’re far from being perfect. you’re nothing compared to you sisters who lives a perfect, normal life.
you’re abnormal, a psychotic bipolar who had depression and anxiety. no wonder that handsome senior back in your high school days who you’ve been in love with for years never once look at you. and that hot lad you’ve been crushing on wouldn’t even spare you a glance. not, when he got a good looking, sexy lady as his fiancee. you’re forever stuck in a one-sided, unrequited love. how pathetic!
that’s why your so called friends pity you and let you in, to be a part of their group. not because they see you as their friend. it’s just a pity. because you looks so alone and sad like a lost & kicked puppy. but puppies are cute, meanwhile you’re nah! beside, they need this one clown to be mocked and get laughed at. but even that friends can’t stand you anymore. you’re too weird for them, again, too abnormal. they don’t even understand what’ you’re talking about. it leads them to not listening to what you’re saying in the end.
not only your face is ugly, but your heart is crooked too. you envy your best friend, your ever so nice and kind to you friend. because she’s pretty, smart, and loved by everyone. everybody looked at her with awe, while her bright shining light overshadowed you. you, that ugly girl who’s always stood by her feet, stay invisible from the rest of the world.
your laziness, greed, and jealousy will surely kill you one day. along with your ugliness. plus your depression and anxiety slowly eats you alive. you’ll die alone in misery, with no one to mourn over you. because no one really cares enough to know how you’re struggling with your depression, battling against your anxiety. no one truly loves you to realize that you’ve gone insane and dying inside.
yeah, you better off dead. that way the world will lose one ugly, useless, worthless piece of trash that is you. the earth will be prettier without you in it, so you just lost!”

those are what the girl on the other side of the mirror tells me all the times.