It seems more and more apparent that the only answer to my problems is to simply move far away from this district as I can, leave everyone and start afresh. If I’m far away from the birthplace of my problems, where it all happened, maybe it would help me to forget about people easier.
It seems like nowadays it’s either that or suicide…
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You Have One Life… If you commit suicide, it will end everything for you, total nothingness… So might as well do what you really want now… It’s all going to be over, so just live.. live.. live… How you want.
That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. I know that once you move you begin creating, in the new place, the exact same situation as the old place. However, it takes time. Maybe months, years to re-create the shit-storm you’re moving away from. As long as you’re aware you’re doing this, it gives you time to breath…and maybe…just maybe…if you’re smart about it…not to re-create it. Then, if you do re-create the shit you can move again.
Or jump off a ledge.
Trust me, it couldn’t be replaced. My situation lives strictly within this county. The further I move away, the further I’m moving from those who had hurt me so badly. I don’t think I can’t recreate a group of people. So, all hope isn’t lost. I’d rather just move out, drown the thought and forget about it the best I can. Who cares if I’m living in denial? Who cares if burying the thought hurts me more? I don’t. I won’t have to see them again.
I haven’t got the guts to jump from a ledge… it’s disappointing enough that the nearest train station is an hour’s drive (if you get what I’m saying?) I sort of wish we could’ve gone on holiday to that one place in the countryside, loads of trees, cliffs, roads that are empty, straight out of the way and there’s this path leading to another field with train tracks that go across it. You just open the gate, walk across and don’t bother making it to the other side.
You and me both. I dream of going to another place so I can leave my past and all this betrayal behind. Im currently attending trade school so it’s a start.