I left my husband over 5 years ago. My children, now teens, stayed in the house they grew up in. I see them whenever I want, but they are teens and friends are important now. I don’t want to go back. It would never work.
I am a teacher in a job that I was forced to take out of necessity. Summer break is almost over. I am now in my 9th year, and I don’t want to go back.
I’ve been working over 20 years. I feel tired, and I am done. Done with work, done with my personal life and done with my social life. I have had enough of it all.
The only thing keeping me here right now is the thought of the pain of my parents and children from my death. I’m not sure how much longer even that will keep me here.
11 comments
<3
I have lots to say
but for now
I tell you with out most certainty
your children will need you in their lives no matter how old they get
& regardless of how important their friends [or even their father & other relatives] are to them…
you are their "Mother"
they might not express it or even realize it as much as they should
but if you go that way,
it will be one inconsolable & irreversable loss
& will affect them forever
I know things must be really really hard
& you must be in so so much pain to be here writing this
but I do hope & pray you could stay
if not for yourself
& your parents
& so many many other reasons I'd love to mention to you
then at least
for the one most important reason
for your children
whom you love
& believe me
who love you more than you or even they realize
my heart & prayers are with you
& i'm here for you
please know u'r most most welcome to email me anytime
farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail
I'd love it if we could talk
tc
big hug & much love
<3
Farah is right.
Life sucks but it would suck more for your children if you gave up. They’ll think you gave up on them if you take your own life.
I don’t see my oldest children but even then… They’ll be hurt. They’re hurting now cause their father has alienated me.
My children are what keep me going forward even when I’m beat to the point of near death.
I was run over by a car… Nearly died… But the thought of my children, kept me alive.
<3 <3 <3
Love You
Love you, Farah
<3 <3 <3 replied to your mail 🙂
take your time <3
I’m just not sure what the point of continuing is now. I went through the motions of my dead marriage for almost 10 years, and now I feel like I’ve just been going through the motions of life for the past 5 years. I thought I would feel so much better when I left, and I don’t. I have friends who helped me move out, but one died shortly after. The rest have their own lives as couples, and I feel abandoned. I have reached out and even told them about this feeling and all have said that they never thought about it that way, and yet none have done anything to reach back out to me. I have done some community service activities to keep busy and house projects, but none of it seems to be helping me feel better. Like I said, I am going to have to go back to work soon, and I can’t bear the thought of it.
My retirement money and insurance could more than get my kids through college which is better than I can do for them. I feel like I am just treading water on so many levels, and I am exhausted!
Scarlett
apologies apologies apologies for my delay <3
I have so much to say to you
but for now;
believe me, you can give your children all the money, opportunities & caring, loving relatives in the world
but none of this & none of them will ever ever replace you
nothing & no one can ever take your place in your children's hearts
believe me
believe me
believe me
it's an intolerable feeling to lose one's mother
it's like a part of you dies that day… 🙁
please please please reconsider this
I still have more to say
but I'll do this step early
& leave you my email here
if you ever ever wish to talk
please know that I'm right here & you're most most most welcome
okay
farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail
please take care
okay
<3
& my heart goes out to you Scarlett,
I just want you to know I’m not dismissing your agony,
I know there’s so much pain
& I know it’s not that easy
& I truly truly am sorry 🙁
<3 <3 <3
thats the only reason im alive for my kids, my exwife broke up with me for an druugie excon boyfriend.
i have my kids full time she never sees them, my kids hate her i wish things could be better but there not, please dont get depressed u still have your kids.
my heart goes out to you <3
I think you're an amazing father 🙂
please hold on 🙂
I’m happy your kids have you to count on. You sound like a good dad.