I never feared the fear of falling, thought I could fly.

I should start this off by saying I blame no one but myself. I don’t know why God made me so I feel so deeply, but he did. I feel everything, on levels that others don’t. I don’t know if you all know how it feels to walk around and feel so deeply. It’s rewarding when you are happy, but when you are bipolar and never really know how you are going to feel when you wake up it becomes troublesome. Today I feel lower than I’ve ever felt before. I’ve been cursed with the ability to make it look like my life is all together. I’m a thespian, so putting on an act has never been hard for me. People take one look at me and figure my life is great. No one knows that I’ve started starving myself again because of my dysmorphia or that I’ve been maniac for the past week and a half or that when I’m by myself I cry myself to sleep still. No one knows how truly unhappy I am, I show them signs but no one picks up on them. No one takes the time to really care about me to see how visibly unhappy I am. So I’m ready to leave. Im tired, physically and emotionally drained. I can’t take it anymore, I’m ready to be freed of feeling so deeply. I’m ready to stop feeling. I’m ready to fall into the abyss….