TW: SUICIDE SPEAK
Well, it seems like the next few months I’m going to have a crack at self-sabotage to try and get rid of this “natural survival instinct” because personally I’ve taken an overdose twice in my life and one of them could have been a fatality had I decided to take the whole bottle.
I remember accidentally slicing a little too deep and opened an atery on my thigh without feeling remotely scared. Bled out a lot too, guess back then it was only an accident and my life weren’t as shit.
I don’t know if I’ll ever do it, but it’s surely on my mind. No… why am I bringing my hopes down? Suicide can be done. I’ve got this. Just need the cash, alcohol and time.
8 comments
Why are you depressed? What is fueling this feeling that you are feeling?
In short, I messed up my entire life I’d rather not live with myself.
I don’t know how long it would take for me to get over this survival instinct, but I do know for sure that I’m not dying of a natural death or an accident. I’d rather take this life of mine and stomp it into the ground myself.
If there’s a chance of reincarnation. If there’s just the slightest chance reincarnation exists. I’d rather die and take that chance.
🙁 <3
can I, instead, give you lots & lots & lots of love & hugs & ask you to stay 🙁
<3
I’ve thought of the reincarnation thing and I feel we’re in the same boat. I don’t want to get preachy here, but most organized religions that ascribe to reincarnation/rebirth believe that killing yourself is ultimately a harmful act. If you do, you would want to make sure that you balance the act with innumerable acts of kindness and generosity. The general idea is that you don’t get reborn into some magical place, but into the world you created while you’re alive now. For example, if you were some sort of horrible dictator and created a world of hate and suffering for your own benefit, you would get born into the place you helped to create, without any magical protections of being that dictator (you would be a vulnerable little baby in that place). These belief systems generally don’t believe in a super-power that determines a person’s destination (heaven or hell), so it’s left to the individual. I hope this helps, as that’s all I intend here.
o_O