I’m a mess and right now this is my only outlet. I have no one to talk to about this. People probably dont want to hear about relationship dramas. Im just convinced that everything i say and do is a piece of shit!
Basically, ive started a new relationship and im a mess. I think im useless and worthless. It’s like im just waiting for him to turn around and say I’m unstable and miserable all the time and i have trust issues. and that he’s actually in love with so and so who’s so much more better than me. This probably sounds hilarious to some people “oh look ha ha another insecure chick.. who will probably trash yo car if you break up with her” …. well i feel this is a real problem. Im not happy.. im stressed worried anxious depressed all the time. Im teary a lot.. sometimes when im sitting right next to him ill have to hold it in. I’ve has bed experiences in the past so maybe its hust hard for me to accept it will be all good this time? I dunno i just want to sit in the shower and cry plus drink. Somehow make it all go away. Its killing me cause i care about him and i want to be perfect gf.
And well, ive decided to go back on the meds. Today was the first day and i felt a lot better. But then i was triggered by seeing him text others on social media (probably a girl i have no idea). I cant even explain this with a rationale mind. Im honestly insane. Anyways, then everything crumbled around me and i had to write on here.
Maybe i need more friends? Maybe fir male friends so i can understand that males anfemalsles can be just friends? I dont even know how you make ‘just friends’. Ive never been good at that.
Ah well goodnight everyone.
1 comment
Hey. If you really feel useless and worthless with your bf you should at least tell him. If he don’t change and you’ll still feel that bad leave him. Btw if boy text to a girl it often mean she’s his friend, just friend. He already have awesome, beautiful gf, I’m sure about that. Talk to him about your feelings, if he really loves you he should listen to you and support u. Feel free to talk to me.