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im back and nothings changed

by sadlife958

How is everyone doing? I hope all the friends I made here found there solution in choosing a stable way to live. I myself have been unsuccessful even when I was gone from here for the year not once did suicide leave my mind. I am 26 and many of you know me and I have revealed myself both life and pictures of how I look for those to get the picture that my eyes are no different than yours. And for the record I am still single just as it has been my whole life. I don’t even remember the last time when I even kissed a girl. Anyways Saturday will be the 9th year since my dad left left me and it will be the 9th year since my suicide thoughts have met me. My Dad was 48 when he passed from lung cancer I was 17.

Anyways I plan something soon but not because of dad there have been a lot that I seen and burdens of my father his debts and my mom money hungry 24/7 where I’m left with barley any money to eat.


No more loneliness, no more being alone in the corner, no more being lied to, no more fake faces,

I’ll miss both anime & my baby brother as for my mom & sister no chance. I’m 26 & it’s hard watching ppl who have everything they want with ease and no trouble.

I have been abused in school I have been given responsibilities in life that I didn’t chose all I wanted was education and to be independent not deal with my dad’s legal debts how could he do this he knew he was dying more important my mom how could she do this why mom just why. I gave you everything & you took everything and ran and nvr looked back if I was ok.

I’ll admit out of all the parents I’ve seen my mom is complete shit she is fake I can’t believe it. I’ve been a victim of a scam in the internet a brutal scam all my sweat work was blown away but to think my mother did worse than that. Hah I have nothing more to say right now there is so much but I just don’t have the energy to explain it all a lot of you have seen my posts from previous last year so you already know what I’ve been through


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No cry day 7/12/2017 - 5:29 pm

Hey man, I remember you, life still sucks, you may not know me

sadlife958 7/13/2017 - 5:57 pm

No Cry Day I think I remember u it’s nice to talk to you all again I have been reading a lot of people’s o p I just haven’t had strength to reply somehow I am still alive and I’m glad you two are hanging in there

John Doe 7/12/2017 - 6:47 pm

I thought you offed yourself, Nice to see you alive

sadlife958 7/13/2017 - 6:02 pm

John Doe yeah man I almost did a few times almost came successful however Almost Doesn’t Count. This time for sure if you don’t hear from me at all definitely I offed myself and I plan to very soon. What to see that you’re hanging in there and myself as well stay strong

LoveDogs 7/12/2017 - 9:10 pm

In 2009 my suicide thoughts met me as well. Even though things have gotten better, I still haven’t got rid of them. For some of us ( the truly blessed–not ) the thoughts may never go away until we die. I have had some bad times—but also good times. Man, hang in there and live to fight another day!

sadlife958 7/13/2017 - 6:05 pm

Love dogs thank you very much for your comment you are at the same streak like me with those suicide thoughts I have had a lot of bad and it’s just gotten so much worse then it did 3 years ago it just seems as I get stronger with things, things still end up getting harder to cover the difference

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